Women objectify themselves as sex objects. (Intercourse, Andrea Dworkin, p 140) They also objectify others. (Women & Love, St. Martin's Press mass market edition, 1989, Shere Hite, p 129) From childhood, women seek status through affiliation by objectifying one another as status-objects: "(G)irls get status by being friends with high-status girls: the cheerleaders, the pretty ones, the ones who are popular with boys." (You Just Don't Understand, Ballantine Books Edition, June 1991, Deborah Tannen, Ph.D., p 107)
As adults, women objectify men as success objects. The means for impressing other women. (Women Vs. Women, Tara Roth Madden, p 155) Effectively, they use men to tell one another, "Here is my man: with him, I buy cars, clothes, entertainment, vacations, trips to the beauty parlor and, if I'm so inclined, motherhood or early retirement." The consequences of this are devastating:
The consequences of turning women into sex objects include rape; the consequences of turning men into success objects includes war. -- Why Men Are The Way They Are, Berkley edition/September 1988, Warren Farrell, Ph.D., p 251
Women know most men see them as sex objects, and most women agree this is bad. But when confronted with how they objectify men, they deny it, pointing to surveys that prove they value a good sense of humor above money, and sensitivity and kindness above power.
But men know they can be kind, caring, loving and sensitive, and while these characteristics may earn them the status of "just friends" with most women, their many women friends would never consider having sex with them. Women would rather have sex with a hot sexy steamy jerk while they search for their trophy husband who's name is Mr. Right. Men know the more money, status, prestige and power they have, the more willing most women will be to give them conditional love and sex. Most men have always known this, but few realize the connection between how women objectify them, and female hostility toward men.
Women's increasing independence, combined with how they objectify men as walking wallets, is the reason for much of their hostility toward men: The monetary basis for their conditional "love" for men is gone. What remains is the resentment they feel toward most men for being unable to fulfill their need for "walking wallets." In many ways men today are superfluous in a women's mind.
Women say, "Men are limited to hunting, finding their way home, fire gazing and providing sperm--that's it."
Women are largely dishonest in defining their true unhealthy feelings about men. Women know it's wise to be politically correct to save face. At the same time many feminists have deemed men the "outcasts of society".
When more men realize this, how will they feel? Will they resent it? Will male hostility toward women grow to match female hostility toward men? That depends. In response to the feminist movement, many men gave up objectifying women as sex objects to look to the deeper beauty that grows with time. Women must do this, too. They must stop objectifying men and embrace the equality they "say" they want. It's the only way to stem the tide of resentment men will otherwise feel. My fear is that women won't care how men will feel.
But everyone already knows this --so what's new? And unfortunately it's already started. Men in large numbers are rebelling against women and especially marriage for this and many other reasons. Since only 25% of all relationships succeed I suspect 25% of women have found a trophy husband who will stay with them and give them status. Of course women who see themselves as not having the looks of a movie star tend to lower their standards and accept men with lower status. And, many women are attracted to a man's potential to give her future status.
Women are most attracted to these six things in men:
1) Means (Wealth, possessions, gifts to them or providing for them)
2) Power (Influence, Leadership, provide safety)
3) Fame
4) Looks (especially height)
5) Exclusivity (Royalty, already married, hard to get, affiliation)
6) Personality (Humor, creativity, romance, intelligence, mystique
etc.)
So men, if you don't have these characteristics you either need to work on them or keep away from women. You are likely not measure up to their requirements.
You have to ask yourself, "Is getting into a relationship worth it only to fulfill a women's need to objectify me in order for her to gain her desired status." "How much conditional love can I handle?" Or, would I just prefer to be relegated to the status of a friend? Maybe skip the relationship trap.
A woman talking about the man she would like to marry stressed the necessity:
-of his having a good economic future
-and of being the type of person who would be a responsible involved father.
Although her standards were certainly understandable, without realizing it she was describing men as
objectsShe didn't mention personal qualities but described instead a man's ability "to perform."
Women choose men based on symbols and function not as people. Not very romantic is it.
Then after marriage women become very unhappy with their men because they're not fulfilling them emotionally. Women then force a divorce. Very strange.
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Your feelings? (300)
The purpose of this site is to allow you to express how you feel. It’s not to determine whom is right or wrong.
1. a reader left...Sat, 01/08/05 6:18 pm
This is so very true. The thing that no one mentioned yet is that women managed to portray themselves as the "Victims" while we go slave for them. Isn't that ironic? Come to think of it the saying "Men run the world, but women run the men" is true And we are at fault for this.
Men- Wake up!!!
Raffi Smilansky [raffis007@yahoo.com]
----------------------------------------------
What you mentioned here is explained very well in the book "Why Men Are The Way They Are" by Warren Farrell Ph.D.
2. a reader left...Sun, 01/30/05 7:28 am
It's the entire package that counts. Some women prefer a man with status, but independent women I know, are looking for an equal and intimate, caring, respectful relationship with a man. Some couples have that relationship, so when it really exists, this is certainly possible and not a mere fantasy. But as long as men and women have to keep up with their role in 'society', enstrangement between sexes will not disappear.
Miranda
3. Dave left...Sun, 01/30/05 7:41 am
Miranda - Thanks for sharing your thoughts. It's sad to me how powerful polarization of the sexes are these days.
4. a reader left...Mon, 01/31/05 10:12 am
What's with this web site? Did bitter men and guys create this web site and write all the articles - is anyone suppose to take this stuff seriously?
am
5. a reader left...Thu, 02/03/05 8:53 pm
I'am a 33j old guy.
As explained woman equal as men have a selfish side. It specially shows when some are looking for "marriage material". Nothing more nothing less.
Based on my experience over the last 5 years, I take this specific article damn serious!!
Jozef
Jozef [iedereen1@hotmail.com]
6. a reader left...Thu, 02/24/05 2:18 am
Men have been objectifying women since the beginning of time, and still are--so, what's your problem, guy!? We've learned to live with it, why can't you?
Live with it as women have for their entire existence! A taste of your own medicine (you can dish it but can't take it).
I really don't feel sorry for you at all. Boohoo!
{^¸^}
7. Dave left...Thu, 02/24/05 7:38 am
{^¸^} -do you have a namee?
8. Dave left...Thu, 02/24/05 10:49 am
We've learned to live with it, why can't you? When I talk to ladies from the women's movement I get the impression that all women haven't learned to live with it at all!
9. a reader left...Fri, 02/25/05 1:48 am
Perhaps I should have said we have had to tolerate it, endure it--how we cope with it (live with it) is entirely individual--some worse then others, some better--it all depends on ones experiences with objectivism.
{^¸^}
10. a reader left...Wed, 03/16/05 10:24 am
Women's are interested on men's soul. They want
only love and understanding, not money or good look. What a lie! Women, be honest!
There is more women that men in the world, we should choose.
simon
11. a reader left...Wed, 03/23/05 7:06 pm
WHAT WOMEN REALLY MEAN...
I hope you're sitting down... because what I'm about to share with you will change how you view women and dating. I'm about to take you "behind the scenes" in
the female mind. I'm going to give you a perspective that most men never see or realize.
Unfortunately for most guys, not seeing things the way I'm about to share with you keeps them trapped in their own little world of failure. If you pay careful
attention to the things I'm about to reveal to you, you'll definitely have more success with women.
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WORDS AND THE REAL WORLD...
Have you ever heard a woman say something like:
"I want a guy who is sensitive."
"I want a guy who's in touch with his feelings."
"I want a guy who's a good communicator."
"I want a guy who is strong."
"I want a guy who is sexy."
...?
Of course you have. Women say this stuff all the time. One of my favorites is:
"I want a REAL MAN." I love that one.
In the past, when I'd hear women say "I want a REAL MAN" I had NO IDEA what the hell they were talking about. It almost didn't make sense. But keep in mind, even though these things don't always make sense to us guys, they make PERFECT sense to women. Here's the problem...
When a woman says one of these things, she actually MEANS something that is different from what a guy would mean if he said the same words.
Let me explain.
If a guy says "I'm going to stay home and relax today", he probably means that he's going to stay home, watch some sports, drink a beer, look at pictures of women
on the internet, and order a pizza.
If a WOMAN says that she's going to stay home and relax, she's probably NOT going to watch some sports, drink a beer, look at pictures of women on the
internet, and order a pizza.
IMPORTANT NOTICE: If you are reading this right now and you are a woman who watches sports, drinks beer, looks at pictures of the women on the internet, and orders pizza to relax, then contact me immediately at the email address below. And send pictures. Back to what I was saying...
Women are DIFFERENT from men. And the words they use often don't mean what they SOUND like they mean. So the FIRST thing that you have to get
through your head is that just because a woman SAYS something to you doesn't mean that it means that you THINK it means. Catch my meaning?
THE BIG SECRET SHE ISN'T TELLING YOU
There's a little secret that women never happen to mention when they're describing what they want in a man. Unfortunately for all of us good guys who are trying to be what women want... and hoping that if we try hard enough to please women that they'll like us... this little secret is causing us a LOT of trouble. The SECRET is that women ONLY want the things that they're asking for from a guy who already has about 100 other qualities that they never mention.
In other words, if a woman says "I want a man who is a good communicator", what she REALLY means is: "I want a guy who already has his life together, is interesting, unpredictable, dominant, funny, healthy, charismatic, confident, and loyal... who is ALSO a good communicator." The REALITY is that when a
woman says one of these "I want a guy who" statements, she actually has an IDEAL guy in mind, who ALSO happens to be a good communicator.
She's NOT imagining Homer Simpson sitting on his couch reading a book on communication. The reality of this situation is that what
women REALLY want is a man who makes them feel the emotional and physical response that I like to call ATTRACTION. They want a man who makes them FEEL IT. But most women either can't describe the things that actually make her feel ATTRACTION, or they don't WANT to have to describe them, because they want a man who already IS those things... without having to learn them.Think about it.
If you were hiring a bodyguard, would you want one that said "Yea, I can be a bodyguard. Just give me some time to learn..." or would you want one that already KNEW how to kick ass anytime, anywhere without having to learn?
Duh.
Well same goes with women. They don't WANT a guy that they have to train. If you don't already have the UNIVERSAL FOUNDATION of what attracts
women, then no amount of changing and improving things like your communication and sensitivity is going to help you.
WHAT IS A REAL MAN?
Lately I've been thinking a lot about the idea of a "Real Man". You hear both women and men using the term. But what does it actually MEAN? And is it important?
Well, after thinking about this particular topic for a long time, I've come to the conclusion that it is a VERY important topic. At this point, I believe that a REAL MAN is this "ideal" that women imagine when they're saying "I want a guy who is sensitive". They're thinking of the REAL MAN, and then they're imagining him ALSO being sensitive. There are a lot of aspects to this REAL MAN. Here are a few that are important:
-Status
-Lack of Insecurities
-Standards
-Experience
-Humor
-Unpredictability
-Leadership
-Challenge
...and the list goes on.
It's actually not easy to describe a REAL MAN in a few sentences... but I'll tell you what... a woman can recognize one INSTANTLY.
THE MISTAKE MEN MAKE
Now, a common mistake that men make is taking something that a woman SAYS that she wants, and doing it TOO MUCH, thinking that if "A little bit is good, then more must be better". For instance, a woman SAYS that she likes guys who are "thoughtful". So you go out and buy her a bunch of gifts, and give her cute cards every time you see her, and call her all the time to tell her that you miss her.
What happens? She leaves you for her jerk ex-boyfriend.
Huh?
This would be kind of like a woman saying "My favorite food is chocolate" and then you thinking it would be good to feed her chocolate for every meal just because it's her favorite... or adding chocolate to every single dish you make for her from now on... and forgetting that 97% of what she eats still needs to be OTHER FOODS.
Let me land the plane for you.
Women don't MEAN what you THINK they mean when they talk about what they want in a man. And if you take the things women say too literally, you're going to wind up shooting yourself in the foot.
WHAT WOMEN REALLY MEAN...
So let me "decode" what women "really" mean when they say common things. Consider this your own personal "female language translator". Refer to it often.
WHEN A WOMAN SAYS...
"I want a guy who is sensitive."
WHAT SHE REALLY MEANS IS...
"I want a guy who is busy doing his own thing in life, who has goals and objectives... who has passion for things. If we're out together, he always keeps me on my toes, and I'm always wondering what's going to happen next. He's challenging, interesting, and funny. I would really like it if he was also sensitive enough to know when I need a hug, or to be held, or when I want him to make love to me." Does this make sense?
Again, she's not imagining a picture of a boring, predictable, Wussy who is sharing his hurt feelings because he's so "sensitive". Big difference.
WHEN A WOMAN SAYS...
"I want a guy who is in touch with his feelings."
WHAT SHE REALLY MEANS IS...
"I want a guy who is strong-willed, and who doesn't get upset about petty things... a guy who can deal with the fact that I freak out emotionally sometimes... and who knows how to be cool when things are tough. But I also want him to be in touch with his feelings so that:
1) He doesn't repress his emotions and then eventually kill 10 people in his workplace, and
2) When he's intimate with me, and he feels a passionate rush... he'll grab me and make love to me like a beast!"
What she's NOT doing is making a picture of a meek, afraid guy who calls all the time to ask "Do you like me? Because I sure like you".
WHEN A WOMAN SAYS:
"I want a guy who's a good communicator."
WHAT SHE REALLY MEANS IS...
"I want a guy who doesn't talk all the time, because he knows how to let me know what's on his mind without using words. I want the kind of guy that can touch me in a certain way and I feel tingles all over my body. And I want the kind of guy that can say things in a way that I understand... not crudely and man-like."
WHAT ABOUT "SEXY"?
You'll often hear women saying that they what a "Sexy Man". Now, I USED to think that they meant that they wanted a PHYSICALLY ATTRACTIVE man when they said this. Sometimes this is exactly what they mean when they use the term "sexy". But I've found that, most of the time, women mean something TOTALLY different when they use the term "sexy".
You see, a woman generally bases more of her life around what she FEELS than a man does. And the concept of "sexy" is usually used to describe the way a man makes a woman FEEL than it is used to describe how HE LOOKS. Think about women's romance novels for a moment. Women's romance novels account for
about a fifth of ALL BOOKS SOLD.
What do these books contain?
WORDS. Words that DESCRIBE things. Descriptions that make women FEEL things. My point: If you want to learn how to be a "sexy man", then the way you LOOK isn't the most IMPORTANT thing.
I'll tell you something, too. Learning the secrets of being a "sexy man" can be a very rewarding experience. A lot of guys out there, including me, know EXACTLY
what it's like to be either on a date with, or in a relationship with a woman who has NO INTENTION of being with you "physically". In other words, she's just not feeling that powerful "sexual" ATTRACTION for you. And you don't know how to MAKE her feel it. Well, let me tell you...
Just like all the other things that a woman "says" that she wants in a man... that most men don't ever "get", being SEXY is one of the BIG ONES. If you understand the secrets of being SEXY, you will notice that women start to behave VERY differently around you.
FINE
This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we are right about but need to shut you up. NEVER use fine to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.
FIVE MINUTES
This is half an hour. It is quivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so I feel that it's an even trade.
NOTHING
This means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine".
GO AHEAD (with raised eyebrows)
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with theword "Fine".
GO AHEAD (normal eyebrows)
This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care". You will get a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.
LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement very misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".
SOFT SIGH
Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are one of the few things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content.
THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you retributions for what ever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead". At
some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.
PLEASE DO
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have
done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay".
THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint, just say you're welcome.
THANKS A LOT
This is much different than "Thanks". A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh". Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh", as she will only tell you "Nothing".
Eddy
12. a reader left...Wed, 03/23/05 8:19 pm
miranda if you girl friends are so independent then why do they want a husband?
rod
13. a reader left...Thu, 04/07/05 6:22 am
Eddy,I am a woman (but not very old:) who watches sports, drinks beer, looks at pictures of the women on the internet, and orders pizza to relax, so what?
laura [laurukas@gmail.com]
14. Ms_Lasher left...Thu, 04/07/05 6:31 am
Rod, there's a difference between independent and apathetic. I'm hoping that someday both men and women figure it out.
Visit me @ http://kthulah.com
15. a reader left...Wed, 04/20/05 11:43 am
I am a lost brother in a way, I am now reading lots of things online about woman, and I now realize that I have been doing my self-wrong for a while, man I wish that I knew this stuff long ago. I am now 29 and I finally know what to do………..Everything rod tells me LoL. Every thing you say is right except you didn’t touch on the woman who say that they want a thug, because there are allot of them……………ALLOT!!!. It is way to hard to get one of these beautiful woman at this age, because I am just learning the ropes, woman always end up being my friend and telling me I will find her (SUCH BULL SHIT!! FUCK YOU FOR THAT) If you don’t want me then why would some other girl want me. No more mister nice guy. and I am very attractive so when I figure out my game plane it’s over. I will in no way be that nice guy woman claim they want, not if it’s going to leave me single HELLO.!!!
James [jamesdh76@yahoo.com]
16. Dave left...Wed, 04/20/05 12:58 pm
Many guys play coy with their sexual intentions, which sets them back with many women. Still I don't think you should seek a long-term relationship with one of these women who are totally attracted to thugs. That’s your call but I don’t think it would make for a pleasant relationship in the long run. Many of these women have been abused as children and have way too much baggage. They need long term therapy. Others seem to grow out of the thug attraction as they reach their mid 20, or early 30,s. But not all of them. And they will still have sexual fantasies for the bad boy even when they are with you.
17. Dave left...Wed, 04/20/05 6:04 pm
James said,"I am now reading lots of things online about woman, and I now realize that I have been doing my self-wrong for a while" - I'm still baffled by the fact that men and women relations are not intuitive to most of us. We actually have to read books about it to learn what nature has created. Except for bad boys who know all of this instinctively.
18. Dave left...Wed, 04/20/05 7:40 pm
James said, "I will in no way be that nice guy woman claim they want, not if it’s going to leave me single" - gurus tell us that women are turned on by bad boys and have powerful FEELINGS for them. But later, they go for what is more practical, a responsible guy to raise a family with, but, their attraction will still always be for that bad boy who gives them those special feelings that they die for. Many women I've talked to have come right out and admitted this is true. Being single might not seem too bad after you’ve lived with a woman for a while. When women say they want a nice guy they are most often just being politically correct. They really don't want to deal with the boredom of a responsible caring guy when they can have a hot steamy sexy jerk.
19. a reader left...Sat, 05/14/05 6:31 am
Hi everyone ,i come from another world where maybe you have been heared .we have different culture custom and anything else, in a word,we are different.i want to link to you and to know each other. :)
Hanzl [hanzlvan@yahoo.com]
20. Dave left...Sat, 05/14/05 8:40 am
Welcome Hanzl -make comments or email me, and if it's good material I'll post it.
21. a reader left...Thu, 05/19/05 7:48 pm
Well Dave I get it, I am really gunning for that perfect girl. It may seem whoosy but if I get what I want I will in no way cheat. I could in every way treat her like gold. I was raised to do so. It is in my nature to do these things. In other words I mean well. I know there are woman out there who would love to have a brother like my self. But I am to old to wait. Can't do it.
Your Cd's are now in my home and are being played all the time. But I can't figure out what to say in Emails.
James [jamesdh76@yaho.com]
22. James left...Wed, 05/25/05 12:19 pm
I forgot to hit email me when this blog updates :)
23. Dave left...Wed, 05/25/05 12:58 pm
I think it must confuse some women who have sex with several different men including their husband during ovulation. She herself may wonder who the real father is. Who should pay child support? Some states are charging the women as a criminal when she lies about paternity. Laws are slowly changing.
24. a reader left...Wed, 05/25/05 1:06 pm
Will the manipulative witch be forced to do some jail time? I doubt it.
Tommy
25. a reader left...Thu, 05/26/05 8:31 pm
The bullshit that women make men go through just for a few minutes of lousy sex, is the reason why prostitution should be legalized. You don't hear too many complaints about women in countries where prostitution is okay, because the women there know that if they refuse to give love, the men will simply go to the street corner and get love from a whore for a fraction of the price and none of the hassle.
Andrew
26. Dodger left...Thu, 05/26/05 9:38 pm
Just to be a cynical chauvinistic bastard.
It's cheaper to hire a maid and a prostitute than it is to have a wife.
27. James left...Fri, 05/27/05 1:21 am
Yeah but a nice clean wife who you can lay with knowing your the only guy is well worth it. (I know dave coming from me that's a mouth full) I mean well just ticked off just as most nice guys are. The stuff just isn't logical at all just like you said. To think I have to go stupid sorta to get a girl, back down be an ass, how logical is that. How can I marry a Woman under those conditions.
28. James left...Fri, 05/27/05 1:22 am
Yeagh
29. Mamasan left...Fri, 05/27/05 3:59 am
Andrew and Dodger, both of you are very naive when it comes to these things. Prostitution is legal here in Israel, and in many other countries, and the result is that wifey type women behave even more "frigid".
Unless you're VERY attractive, and have a nicely sized package and bank account here, a woman you try to push up on is likely to tell you to go hire a prostitute.
Sex before marriage happens here, but usually the girls treat the guys exactly as they deserve. They know they are mostly about the sex and nothing else, so they feel no guilt whatsoever in passing them around, cheating on them with their best friends, etc.
The guys don't even usually get all that upset about it, because they're either doing the same thing, or perceive it as just something that people between 18 and 25 do normally. When you're around 26-30 you're supposed to then "settle down" and start looking for someone to marry.
Over 35 and still looking for casual sex is considered a little pathetic, especially if you're not rich, so that's when guys start getting dissed with the prostitute line. They're being told, "You're too old (and maybe bald and fat) and don't make enough money to expect women to just give it to you for no reason. Go do the dignified thing."
30. Dodger left...Fri, 05/27/05 9:48 am
Hmmm...
Seems to me I interjected a bit of humour, a bit of light-reading, and perhaps a biting retort. And rather than make light of it, or even a humorous scathing rebuttal, a lecture is given. Not just a lecture but a judgement is made and the lecture given against that judgement.
Different humour for different circumstances and for different company. There have been many different posters here who have shown a glint of humour and light-heartedness. Someone where you can say "sure, I'd hang out with you." Or, "good one," or "too funny."
I appreciate lessons when they are given, but I'm not much appreciative of lessons beginning with a misconstrued leading judgement - it reduces the potency of the message. It's a waste. It makes it seem like the person has a nasty chip on their shoulder where humour is an affront and really doesn't seem to be appreciated.
Humour is an attractive quality in anyone. Someone who never smiles, doesn't laugh, and can't engage in conversation without always being serious is a scary person (male or female, young or old). If more discussions could be less antagonistic and have a sense of seriousness as well as a sense of humour it would lead to far less polarity and far less misconstrued error-prone judgements.
I don't live in Israel. Perhaps I am mistaken in assuming other folks around the world with regular access to a computer are like folks around where I live that enjoy some good-natured banter when they get together. I've spent extended periods in Australia, England, U.S., and Canada (not in that order). So my exposure to the world, as you can see, is limited. I feel fortunate that my exposure to the world has been in cultures and areas where humour can always be found. But keep in mind, to be fair to me, I've only ever been lectured to by one person from Israel, which may not be an indication of the nation or the culture.
And for the record, that above statement did not come from me, it came from someone one evening sitting around a campfire on a white water rafting weekend. There were 25 of us out there that year - an even split - 12 women, 13 men, some married, some dating, some flying solo (both genders). The age range was from 27 to 42. And the discussion proved to be very entertaining for a good long time, everyone was taking part, and we even laugh about it today.
Some folks will be able to recognize the statement for what it's worth and smirk and tease and cajole and others will recognize it as something else and as an affront devoid of all humour.
Well, for those that can say, "A weekend white-water rafting trip where there will be a few rafts, pleasant mixed company, camping overnight, and sitting around a campfire drinking libations and engaging in some enjoyable banter as something I'd like to do," to them I say, "we launch in the morning!"
31. Dave left...Fri, 05/27/05 10:58 am
"..have a nicely sized package" - I'm learning that size does matter 'big time'. That’s too bad for us little guys. Life, as we know, is full of obstacles and this just adds more frustration. What a shame. Once again our small package is our mother’s fault for not have sufficient testosterone in the womb during our gestation. Bad mommy! Bad! :) When I think about it though it's really no big thing.
32. Dodger left...Fri, 05/27/05 11:13 am
Hahaha
See... humour!
The last line - the pun - that's the best!
Good one Dave!
33. a reader left...Fri, 05/27/05 11:46 am
What is small??? Please share all.
I know for a factif you're good with the tongue, hands etc....you can more than make up.
I am above average I think.
Bob
34. Dave left...Fri, 05/27/05 12:34 pm
I'm very punny :)
35. Dave left...Fri, 05/27/05 12:38 pm
If you really check out a list of requirements women want in a man it's unachievable. Maybe that's another reason or component that fuels the super high divorce rate of 50%+? Penis size is just another item on their list.
36. Dave left...Fri, 05/27/05 12:42 pm
Men's shame and the desire to make women happy are undergoing some radical surgery to enlarge their penis. Many of these men end up being injured for the rest of their life.
37. James left...Tue, 05/31/05 11:00 pm
Well like what he said, your suppose to be able to please your girlfriend, if your small, then think about all the things woman do with other woman, they enjoy every square inch of each others bodies, they don't have dicks at all think about it.
38. Susan left...Tue, 06/07/05 7:34 pm
The basic problem is that while men's expectations on women have changed, men have not changed to keep up with them. If a man does not want to be the 'wallet' in the relationship, then he needs other skills to offer. If a woman had a good job and could be the successful breadwinner in the union, then the man needs to have something to offer, in exchange. Women usually want a man with a high income because most men don't want to do the household chores or care for the children. A man who earns a low wage (or none at all) and cannot take over the burdon of domestic work and child rearing is undesirable to a woman. Additionally, a man who expects the woman to bring hom most of the money they need for survival has less earning potential if she is tired from doing housework and taking care of the kids. By and large men these days seem to be searching for a mother figure who will take care of them the way their own mothers did. This is unrealistic. If the woman has to do everything herself and the man is of little assistance (and she has the income to do so) she is better off being a single parent, hiring babysitters and a housekeeper, so she can devote more time to her career and child, and not have a man who is not doing his fair share draining resources which could be better allocated elsewhere. My suggestion to men who do not have good earning potential is to take a cooking course and become diligent housekeepers if you want a serious relationship. For a woman it is often better not to have a partner at all than one who is burdon and who gives much less in return than than his wife or girlfriend gives him.
39. Dave left...Tue, 06/07/05 7:49 pm
Men becomming house wives is killing the male ego. It emasculates him. Mothers who prevent their son's right of pasasage into manhood are causing much of this problem. Single mother homes cause pussification. We are now experiencing the pussification of America. Or a nation of wimps.
40. Dave left...Tue, 06/07/05 7:52 pm
It's interesting that the last word from a solders mouth, when he's killed in action is, mama!
41. Dave left...Tue, 06/07/05 8:00 pm
"If a man does not want to be the 'wallet' in the relationship, then he needs other skills to offer." - actually women objectify and go after men who have the most money to elevate their own status. It's not due to his poor skills.
42. James left...Tue, 06/07/05 8:10 pm
Dave I can't be the house wife, I am too much Man for that, I can do it very well, probably better then moste woman, from my time in the military, I had to be neet but I can't see my self being the house wife role. NOt that she would have to do it all, we would share she's not my slave, if I married her, then I must love her to death. So sharing the hous duties would come natural. I don't mind learning new skills that apply to woman, as I said do what you gotta do to get the woman of your dreams.
43. James left...Tue, 06/07/05 8:10 pm
Dave I can't be the house wife, I am too much Man for that, I can do it very well, probably better then moste woman, from my time in the military, I had to be neet but I can't see my self being the house wife role. NOt that she would have to do it all, we would share she's not my slave, if I married her, then I must love her to death. So sharing the hous duties would come natural. I don't mind learning new skills that apply to woman, as I said do what you gotta do to get the woman of your dreams.
44. Dave left...Tue, 06/07/05 8:26 pm
I think you're on the right track James but please don't turn into wussy doormate or you'll loose her.
45. James left...Wed, 06/08/05 12:09 am
Hey dave how should I start off a good convo with a hot bartender, she is seriously a 20 on a scale from one to ten. She looks better then any move star out and she is above the world. She has spunk allways grind dancing with the male bartenders having fun. If I can start it I can finish it.
46. Mamasan left...Wed, 06/08/05 12:42 am
Dave, being a house husband did not kill my dad's ego. He was good at it, and didn't care what other people thought of it.The problem was my mom.She went through a rabid feminist phase, but then found out that they were full of shit...but instead of going moderate, she fell back on a sort of skewed traditionalism, and told my dad that she wanted him to go out to work. She wanted to keep working too, but the thing was that she didn't want to *have to* work....all the rights, but none of the responsibility.It didn't occur to her that I might feel betrayed, and that this would change the dynamic of our family forever. Unspeakable things happenned to me in the care of people other than my father. For a long time, I blamed my parents, so they didn't know about it. I didn't trust them enough to tell them.With the loss of my primary caregiver, I felt very alone, and grew up very fast. I went from princess to sacrifice to the system in the space of a few days.I didn't have a very strong sense of entitlement to begin with. I was the kind of kid who would get a toy and play with the box. I have loved a few teddybears to death in my day. I fixed other kids' broken dolls.I needed my dad at home. The natural way they arranged our family from the beginning was the best...each according to their abilities.Fuck tradition and gender roles. People should be what they are, and be respected for what they are.Being a house husband does not make a man less of a man. There's no such thing as too much man to be a parent. Parenting is the most important job in the world, and it's better that guys figure that out now than to be like my parents were....with a sullen, angry teenage daughter who could have been a card carrying member of Future Mercenaries of Amerca, Powder Puff Division.They only woke up just in time. My dad had become a workaholic because he felt powerless to change things, my mom spent money like crazy on stupid things, I was AngryTeen, and my brother was GoodBoy trying to solve everyone's problems by being as good and quiet as possible.Dad finally put his foot down to bring some sanity back to our family. He admitted to alot of things he'd been saving up for years...the first of which was that given a choice, he would have stayed at home or only worked in a profession that would allow him to be home by the time me and my brother were home.Then the process began to get back his identity. The success didn't happen until long after I left home, but beginning the process was more helpful than even they know.Now he's a teacher, which is a hard job, but what he should have been doing all along instead of joining the military. It allows him to express his whole self, with his nurturing tendencies and strong authority.Men don't want to live in a dirty house. They also don't want to starve or have their kids running around neglected. I think if a guy who isn't lazy is given a chance, he'll do what needs to be done for his home if he's unemployed, so long as he's not over pressured....and if the dishes go unwashed a day, so what? If he doesn't fold clothes for military creases so what?Some women aren't all that great housekeepers either.The important thing is that he takes being a parent seriously...and realizes that it's impossible to parent from a distance.People need to just let each other be, and get committed to people who compliment them and their goals.
47. will left...Wed, 06/08/05 1:50 am
James, the advice I can give you is:-Start off by saying "Hi, how are you?"It get the ball rolling.-Ask questions about her.It always important to ask questions about her. Most females like it when a man is intersted in them. Never ask them questions relationship wise. She will think you're only after sex and this could spell trouble for you. Don't ask about a boyfriend, don't ask her intrest in men and so forth.-When she ask questions about you, answer and don't babble on.Most females hate men who like to hear themselves talk. It's a sign of a big ego. Be strightforward and truthful.-Keep a smile on her face.Joke every once and awhile. Let her know that you have a sense of humor. Women love a sense of humor.-Don't mention past relationship or other females.Only when she talks about her's then you talk about your's. If a man talks about his past relationships too much she will get unintrested very fast.-Compliment her but keep it to a minimun.Tell her she looks nice or she has a beautiful voice but keep it to one or two compliments. Too many is never good.-Ask if you could exchange numbers.It good to get her number but it's better to give her your's. If she calls first then you know she's intrested. If you call give it 2 or 3 days to call her.These are the steps that work for me. It works sometimes and it dosen't work sometimes. I feel when it comes to attraction that any man could get any girl any time. It's all about how you make them feel about you. Always go in knowing you have a 50/50 shot at her. This is the advice I can give you James. If you want to use it use it if you don't hey. It all up to you. Good luck.
48. Dave left...Wed, 06/08/05 5:40 am
"It's all about how you make them feel about you." - and it's also how you make them feel about herself.I like me best when I'm with you.
49. Dave left...Wed, 06/08/05 6:14 am
"Hey dave how should I start off a good convo with a hot bartender' -don't put her on a pedestal. Tell her you'd like to get to know her. Don't act hurt if she spurns you. Ask her about herself. Stay relaxed.
50. Bob left...Wed, 06/08/05 11:20 am
Dave - james still thinks you're David DeAngelo.We discuss a bunch of DD stuff....James - TEASE her. say "Why don't you buy me a drink" - make fun of her top or hair - no boring questions.
51. James left...Wed, 06/08/05 11:30 am
No I don't ass LoL, I just like what he has to say so I address him as such. I just needed a quick one two punch, because there are guys all over her constantly, asking for her number teling her she pretty, getting drinks, etc. I can only get 3 seconds at a time at the max. And her brother works there. She isn't a mean girl at all, I can tell she is sweet but smart, so bull shit won't ride. I bag lots of woman, with the cocky funny shit, but but This girl is not just some chick. Her name is herd all over campus.
52. Dave left...Wed, 06/08/05 1:05 pm
James - I'm not David DeAnGelo. He's who I get a lot of ideas from though.
53. James left...Wed, 06/08/05 2:36 pm
I did at first but I figured it out a while ago.
54. gadoo left...Fri, 07/01/05 3:04 pm
I didn't read this whole long blog. but I just wanna let you guys know that other guys tell girls what goes on in your heads. I've had several friends warn me about how guys don't want to talk to girls unless they want to have a relationship that's more than a friendship.so I started noticing when guys talk to me and in the begining they're sooooo interested in what I have to say bla bla bla. when they find out I'm taken. they're outta there avoiding me wherever I turn.it's a depressing idea, but whatever.in short I think you would have a better chance if you aimed for a girl that doesn't have any guy friends to clue em in on your intentions.
55. Bob left...Fri, 07/01/05 3:06 pm
Well guys really don't want to be your friend. Period. I've proved it over and over.
56. A member of "No Ma'am" left...Sat, 07/16/05 2:43 am
I SAY F*CK HOPE MEN. READING THIS KINDA STUFF AND READING WHAT WOMEN WANT IS REALLY DEPRESSING TO ME. THAT WE HAVE TO LOOK AT EACH OTHER AS ANIMALS AND OBJECTS AND INSTEAD OF BEING NATURAL HUMAN BEINGS AND JUST NOT USE THIS THINGS OF STATUS AND OBJECTIFICATION AND JUST TRY...TRY...TRY TO LEARN HOW TO LIKE OR LOVE A MAN. I UNDERSTAND THAT FEELINGS ARE THE THING HERE, BUT HONESTLY, WHY ARE WOMEN CRUCIFING US MEN FOR BEING HUMAN BEINGS. A LOT OF US DO NOT HAVE THESE TYPES OF CHARACTERISTICS, LORD KNOWS I DON'T BUT WHY PASS THE GUY BY UNTIL YOU KNOW IF HE REALLY IS A GOOD GUY OR NOT? IT'S ALL ABOUT MATERIALISM.SHYT, I GUESS I'M GONNA TAKE UP GOLF, POT-SMOKING, AND LISTEN TO NOTHING BUT STEVIE RAY VAUGHN AND SOUTHERN BLUES, AND BECOME A DRUNK IN MY EARLY 20s.MAN, I DON'T KNOW. LIFE'S A BITCH. I'M DISILLUSIONED AND SICK OF FAILING.
57. sophia left...Sat, 07/16/05 5:38 am
“A member of "No Ma'am", I can understand your frustration and feeling of disillusionment. It is not just men who are experiencing it, but women as well. We do live in a world where “materialism” rules. Materialism in itself suggest an identification with the animal nature and others as objects purely as means to an end. This is also reflected in the “disposable” culture in which we live, “Dump it for something new.” Do not give up, there are women out there who have different views and are not attracted by these superficial things. There are women who do not want a man who is successful with power, unless they are because then they will enter into an unequal relationship. So often those men will try and control the woman and she will not be happy anyway. In the mean time the best revenge is success, doing what makes you happy without the need of a woman, without the drunk part.;]We do not have to adhere to the norm, I myself rather prefer listening to Stevie Ray Vaughan and Blues than have a relationship on these “materialistic” terms. Who needs it? Just be yourself and you will find someone like you. If you have to play all these silly games, how will the right woman know it is you and not the façade that you are projecting? I believe one of the reasons people are struggling so to find the right person is because so many are trying to be someone else, not who they really are.
58. Mamasan left...Sat, 07/16/05 7:03 am
No Ma'am, I'll second Sophia on this one. These are rough times for the natural human, but don't give up hope. It helps hope along when you're actively pursuing things that make you happy, and meeting other people who are also pursuing happiness rather than just chasing the next dollar.
59. Tommy left...Sat, 07/16/05 11:31 am
Mamasan - I hate to say this but a guy is recognized by his occupation. Unfortunately, house husbands are regarded as either slackers or bums or women of the house. I think it's wrong, but this is the sad truth.
60. Mombo King left...Sat, 07/16/05 12:38 pm
Well the main problem is that woman clain they don't want the role of a house wife, but every effort to be one. They don't want to be a house wife but they also don't find a stay at home husband attractive. These same woman don't want a leading role, that's why they look for powerful men, or bad boys who take conrol and can't be controled. They are unable to fess up to what they really want because they think men will fake the role..........we sure as hell will, but men already know the secrets of woman. We get it, but we just can't fake it. Woman want status, it doesn't matter if she is the Queen of Men. She will still try to find a powerful man. I.e, money, and lots of it.The bad boy, allows woman to think they won't have to worry about messing up, because the bad boy is a piece of crap and he will take her anyway. They like the hard work of Changing him.....it never happens. Silly ladies realy.It is crazy as to how many woman, beautiful woman are doing porn, and then they continue to say men are pigs. The same woman telling you she is not about sleeping around and that she is looking for a perfect man who respects woman, will do a rapper in the back of a club in a heart beet.Most woman don't know what they want, nor do they know why they are holding on to a man who could give a dang wether she lives or die.
61. Mamasan left...Sat, 07/16/05 3:34 pm
Tommy and Mambo, since we know that people are misjudging men who choose to be full time fathers, we should think of ways to combat this misperception.One way I do this is by telling people about my dad, and making it clear that I'd be happy with a guy who would stay home while I worked, or at least try to arrange schedules so we could share both provider and home maker roles.Another good thing would be to add voice to the activists who want to have paternity leave, not just maternity leave, regardless of whether the partners who made the baby are legally married.Paternity leave might convince more guys to be home makers, work at home, or create more flexible schedules.
62. Dave left...Sat, 07/16/05 3:59 pm
63. Mombo King left...Sat, 07/16/05 4:15 pm
Woman shoot for targets to high for them all the time. They think that since the figure in the mirror is sexy they are entitled to best, but they go about so disrespectful that it almost allways fucks them over, and who gets blamed men, who takes the heat nice guys. What about when wives get Fat on their husbands, or when men quit their jobs to take up hobbies, what happens to the marriage. I'll tell you.......reality, you can't act like you can hold on, it's just not simple. To many woman marry out of silly things, and the men who they pick don't know it, nor are they ready do deal with it. When these things blow up, men get the bad name. The men who would stay with woman who change, almost never get them. We meet em at 40 years of age, when the game is over..........But soon the entire game will be over, and woman will have to clean up the mess.
64. A member of "No Ma'am" left...Sun, 07/17/05 4:51 am
ETHER(title of this comment):The phrases of the following:"Don't Give Up""You'll find that special somebody and you'll be happy"No longer exist in my register of every day living. I have believed in that for years on in and it has gotten me nowhere. It's really uplifting but sad that some people don't finally get dating and their love lives right until they are 30 or 40 years of age (no bullsh*t). Sometimes you just got be better off on your own. I'm man enough to say that I used to chase women and fail depressingly. Then, I tried to be what women thought they wanted a guy to be, I was a complete dumbass for that. Then I tried the nice guy, helpful approach. Nothing. So, in nature, i'm not a thuggy-jerk-type-guy. But a lot of women will pick that guy first over a stable person like myself. So, now, after years of this shyt, it's not giving up, it's stop trying! I mean, sometimes we have to stop and look at ourselves and really try to see and determine who we really want to be and who do we really want in real life. I've done that. But many girls i've met THOUGHT that they have but have no f'n clue who they are or where they're going or what kind've man they want(outside of human decency) but are quick to judge the next man over so simplistic and petty crap. Like I said before, maybe i'm better off alone and just do my own thing. I've tried for so long to understand women the right (and wrong way sometimes) way to the point that i've got gray hair from genetics (no lie) and stress (really no lie) and i've pretty much have said the hell with it. So, with those two phrases, I just tell people who tell me that, "keep that sh*t to yourself."
65. Al Bundy (j/k) left...Sun, 07/17/05 5:33 am :: http://www.adhomepage.com/1682/
Hard for a man to succeed when the expectations of women in general are so difficult to meet and constantly changing (they are easily bored and quickly want the next fix...kinda like "drug seeking behavior" if you ask me). If they can't get it from you they are so impatient they won't even work shit out with you they will just trade your ass in for the newest model with more features. You're the car that gets run into the ground w/ no maintenence whatsoever and when you break down, you get called old and unreliable. Nobody even tries to fix the damage, they just get another vehicle. (You are shown NO LOYALTY whatsoever even if it was you who carried them for hundreds of thousands of miles)People who objectify people are trouble.People who have unrealistic expectations are trouble.People who lie are untrustworthy and are trouble.People who don't care to get to know you as a person are trouble.People who don't know what love is, are trouble.I figure if you know how to spot what is not for you, you can have a filter to reduce your frustration because you've spotted the usual suspects and removed them from being considered as worthy. You may screen a LOT of women before you find somebody who you can even get along with for any length of time. They tend to run the gambit. Just remember, all women will tell a man to his face they are looking for a nice guy, (insert other things they tell us), but what they tell their girlfriends about what they are looking for in a man is something different entirely. They will tell YOU the politically correct thing even if it's a lie...you know how we can't trust polititians....Don't give up dude, I understand your frustration, believe me. But whatever setbacks you have faced, just use them as learning experiences to build a better filter...matter of fact use the bad experiences of your fellow man also to make the filter even finer. To filter out all those who would be a bad match for you. No games necessary. Just be able to spot the game for what it is before they use it to trick you.
66. Mamasan left...Sun, 07/17/05 6:02 am
Al, that post should be printed and framed.
67. Mombo King left...Sun, 07/17/05 11:57 am
MAMASAN between you and Al, I am saying this. For the love of god write a book. LoL, its true women our making things very difficult for men. The big problem is that more and more men are turning into bad guys to meet the demand. The even bigger problem is that most of them can't handle this life style. Drugs and violence are always present in the era of a rough life style that often comes with being a bad boy. The thugs have to live up to his expectations and with easy access to Guns and drugs you can imagine how bad things can get. We have seen many movies of such results. Hip Hop video’s aren’t helping either. You got TLC (Left eye I love you god rest you sole love) Telling girls to call men with out flossy things scrubs; if he hasn't the money to splurge on her then he is a scrub. This implies that the man himself is nothing, he is in general a piece of meat nothing more then a walking wallet, then you have Destinies Child telling the world that they want a thug. I don't know if you ever seen these woman but they are freakishly beautiful, they can make any man do anything for them. So what do you think it will do for young men, men being told woman hat nice guys, men around drugs and violence that were already told that a scrub is a man who has no 20 inch wheels (and no being in college does not save you)? It will cause what we all know about going on in the ghetto today. I am not blaming woman for all the chaos, but I am pointing out the obvious
68. Tommy left...Sun, 07/17/05 12:59 pm
Mombo King - I wish I could put together a song which would be combined with TLC's "Scrubs". The lines would go as follows:TLC: "I don't want no scrub, A scrub is a guy who can't get no love from me."Counter to that: "I don't want that TRICK, A trick is a CHICK who can't get DICK from me."As far as Destiny's Child goes, they're the three stooges of R&B music. These three b*tches are mere one-night stands at best. I don't know what that Dallas Cowboys football player was thinking when he married Kelly Rowland. Just watch, she will milk him of his money. This even happens with celebrity couples.
69. Tommy left...Sun, 07/17/05 12:59 pm
Mombo King - I wish I could put together a song which would be combined with TLC's "Scrubs". The lines would go as follows:TLC: "I don't want no scrub, A scrub is a guy who can't get no love from me."Counter to that: "I don't want that TRICK, A trick is a CHICK who can't get D*CK from me."As far as Destiny's Child goes, they're the three stooges of R&B music. These three b*tches are mere one-night stands at best. I don't know what that Dallas Cowboys football player was thinking when he married Kelly Rowland. Just watch, she will milk him of his money. This even happens with celebrity couples.
70. Mombo King left...Sun, 07/17/05 1:12 pm
No I don't think kelly is as Foolish as beyonce, beynoce is the leader the other girls just fallow. Left eye was the leader of TLC and other girls were just up and foolish with her. The choice of boyfrineds they chose were a clear reflection of who they are. Left eye's boyfriend beat the crap out of, so did T boz's, and chilly chose usher who is known for cheating left and right, he even bought hookers.... So what in the name of god does this mean. They are all fucked. Beyonce chose jay z: An ex drugl dealer who said "I will never give my heart to a woman, no happen I will be forever maken. The means I hate woman and I only want to fuck, and the dumb blond decided to give him the best of best of them
71. Tommy left...Sun, 07/17/05 2:04 pm
I hope I don't get a term-of-service violation from AOL for my cursing. Chances are that it will happen anyway.
72. Mombo King left...Sun, 07/17/05 2:29 pm
LoL, cursing is used to express you anger, it's part of english and a huge part of writing. We curs we are fustrated so just keep on cursing,.
73. Tommy left...Sun, 07/17/05 3:03 pm
I'd love to swear like a sailor, but I'm tired of all of these AOL term-of-service violations. Besides, this is my sister's computer. The only one in the house.
74. Mombo King left...Sun, 07/17/05 3:49 pm
Oh, wait you have a sister, why won't she comment in this blog?
75. Tommy left...Sun, 07/17/05 4:17 pm
My sister doesn't visit this site.
76. SchmuckNoMore left...Tue, 09/13/05 2:59 am
That article does miss a point -- I have seen the *jerk* get the hottie girl who truly has nothing, and ends up borroring money from her, and perhaps moves in and lives off of her.Chycks dig the bad boys and they allow the bad guys to abuse them, get them pregnant, and it's THEN when they look for the practical guy -- the docile schmuck who pays for all of this.I don't know about you all, but I'm hestiant when people discuss the things like "ambition, passionate about something in life" i.e. make money. As said once that I read in a book review on a similar topic, Decent men in America have the same effect that daylight has on Dracula. yes, if you are a dirt bag with a criminal record, women (and we are talking beautiful ones) will flock to you. Thing is if you are the kind of guy who is making money, and not the type of scum bag who abuses women, you'll still have it difficult to get women. Then your best bet is to go to the call girl route. Here is a review of a book that had some good thoughts:http://www.amazon.com/gp/cdp/member-reviews/A21722ICUF0KZ3/ref=cm_cr_auth/002-6046798-9525604?%5Fencoding=UTF8
77. Queenie Dakota left...Mon, 01/02/06 1:15 pm
Men please calm down and take a deep breath! You really need to stop worring so much about how you act, what you say and all this junk. Seriously if you are geniunely nice person then you will be loved and the liklihood is that you are already the apple of someones eye. As someone who loves people for themselves I can't really comment for all the materalisic, false women (of whom there are many!) but any real women will be able to provide for herself and consequently shouldn't depend on anyone else for resourses but care only for the love that is shared.James your a sweet heart and i know you hate when people say that someone will come along but they will. I'm in a very similiar situation but from the opposite gender, and i have so many guy mates and they all say the same. Perhaps i'm niave or just too optimistic but i like to think that there is someone out there for every individual.Does this really matter, surely having friends who love you is enough and the rest will fall into place?Chin up and stay positve xxx
78. No left...Mon, 01/02/06 1:20 pm
Queenie that's bull shit, and these guys are living proof they have been nice all thier lives and it only got them nothing we see all the girl and I mean all the girls ugly and pretty go for dirt bags.
79. No left...Mon, 01/02/06 1:20 pm
Queenie women are too stupid to realize this is true they don't know it's happening.
80. DJ left...Mon, 01/02/06 3:06 pm
Why should a girl date a "bad boy" when she can date a "nice" guy who calls her stupid?
81. NO left...Mon, 01/02/06 3:10 pm
Anybody who is willing to date an abusive person over a guy who cares is stupid DJ why the hell would you try to protect this knowing that it's this action that cause women to get hurt in such ways that cannot be fixed. I know your a women I can tell. YOu can't be serious I don't know if i'm a nice guy but I do have a hard time getting girls for not being that bad ass. I just love the hell out of women and can't get my self to hurting them.
82. DJ left...Mon, 01/02/06 4:14 pm
WOMAN ARE 5 TIMES MORE PERCEPTIVE AS MEN!! SO TRUE GUYZ Ali left... You and I may disagree, but I will defend to the death your right to disagree.Oh, but the guy who is abusive isn't stupid?>>I know your a women I can tell. <
83. NO left...Mon, 01/02/06 5:12 pmYou didn't think I would read all the reples did you. Oh of coars the guy is stupid or is he. YOu see we men know that abusing women can get you the most beautiful women in the world, so how stupid can he be. There are schools that teach men how to be this way, so if a guy can do it and keep his women by his side then how can he be stupid.By the way this was about the women not the man stick to the topic.
84. DJ left...Mon, 01/02/06 5:47 pmAnd when these men whine about not being able to see their kids or being thrown in jail, whose the stupid one then?
85. NO left...Mon, 01/02/06 5:58 pmHey DJ your to smat are you. I told you first this wasn't about men, and also I told you that yes those men are stupid, and the women just as stupid for wanting them. This sin't about men vs women, you would like it to be but it's far from that. I hate those men and the whold jail thing kids with bad fathers is the reason why women are stupid for choosing these men.
86. DJ left...Mon, 01/02/06 6:46 pmOh, but I guess as long as the posts are about insulting women (or did you mean women are too stupid as a compliment?) it's okay then.>>Hey DJ your to smat<
87. Christina left...Mon, 01/02/06 7:19 pm
Ok I have to agree with Miranda and explain that an 'independent woman' means that she has a job of her own, isn’t needy and doesn’t need an ‘unrealistic idol’ to come and ‘save’ or ‘keep’ her!Woman who are looking for Mr Rich can only see dollar signs in their eyes and do not have the intelligence to have fulfilling relationships with anyone but only that of materialism!Many women that I have seen in my lifetime go for Rich men because they were bought up without money in the first instance and place a great importance around it. They have no goals on how to create their own if they really need or want it. They sponge off these men and are totally fake and boringly materialistic! They surround themselves with a lot of materialistic shit and go on about it for hours, like everyone wants some shit they’ve got!They file for divorce because they have met a ‘workaholic’! Something that these women can never be because they want someone else to do it for them – or go get it for them.Have you ever watched TARAN and JANE, TITANIC etc? Where the rich girl raised with all the possible materialistic shit all around her and not feel fulfilled within her heart?She marries the poor boy because he gives her more than materialistic shit could ever bring to her life!
88. Christina left...Mon, 01/02/06 7:25 pmBESIDES ALL OF THAT : YOU CAN NEVER REALLY TRUST A MAN WITH A LOT OF POWER AND MONEY !EVER!
89. No left...Mon, 01/02/06 7:34 pmSmat is seriously motivated to advocating trash. Who cares about you wacky ass school. What you just said about the post made sense to what I was talking about none what so ever. I understand you’re affected by this attack on women, but it's not an attack on women. In reality we are only talking about women who say they want a good nice man but disrespect and abuse them when they get them only date bad boys who don't care about them complain that all men are dogs, but know that men who aren’t dogs are right in front of them. The guys who you should be venting on are the bad boys who hurt women. I can't have that convo with you because I don't hurt women. I can't even if I tried; I love women so much it hurts. I am just stating the obvious nothing more.
90. DJ left...Mon, 01/02/06 7:57 pm>> I love women so much it hurts.<
91. Mamasan left...Mon, 01/02/06 8:07 pmNo, I'll tell you why some women go for bad boys...like goes to like. Let them go. Start paying more attention to the girls looking for a good guy....but oh yeah, for this you have to actually be a good guy, and not alienate good women by cursing them out every time they have an opinion. ;-)
92. NO left...Mon, 01/02/06 8:12 pmPlease stop going off the subject, this isn't about me this isn't about you this isn't about seh sexes. It's about the confusion of women in the dating game. That's all, I don't know if i'm seen as a nice guy or what, but I have been turned down for being nice this to be true. I don't let people walk all over me but I do get stabbed in the back when I do good things for people some time. I know how women get turned off by that. It's known to just walk up and crap on a guy in front of his girl and then you will end up with her, but I don't know. I am not cursing her out. I am talking about the topic and she was starting on the wrong track as you are, talking about Men, and me. That's not the topic.
93. NO left...Mon, 01/02/06 8:14 pmThis is the thing. Women who go only for bad boyz endup alone in the end at a very early age, because bad boyz only date very attractive women, and when you get old it's over. Then they just stick to some nice guy. This is what happend to the divorce rate.
94. Mamasan left...Mon, 01/02/06 8:21 pmNo, it's not just about women's confusion. It's about men's confusion too.I keep saying, these things don't happen in a social vacuum. I'm sure that if the princess of your inner fairytale was possibly a brunette with a bit of meat on her who worked in a factory and drove a Hyundai and went with the gals to the pub right out of work with her hair nice and greasy and her nail polish chipping, you and a few other guys here would have an easier time finding good women who aren't gold diggers.Women pursue men with money and power when they don't have enough of their own, and when they think this is the most important thing in life. Those women don't want you. Get over it...or find a way to make more money.
95. rod left...Mon, 01/02/06 8:23 pmno dont bother with dj she is unable to have a logical conversation.
96. DJ left...Mon, 01/02/06 8:53 pmBut she is actually able to be in a real relationship, instead of wondering why she can't get into one. Unlike some people.
97. rod left...Mon, 01/02/06 8:59 pmwith a man or a woman this time dj?
98. NO left...Mon, 01/02/06 9:00 pmMAMASAN I don't know how that has anything to do with i'm talking about what does that brunette and bit of meat have to do with what I said. Any way DJ there is no way you could have a relationship with that much hate for men. If you do, then why be war with them.
99. NO left...Mon, 01/02/06 9:04 pmHa a women oh I get it now. You don’t' hate men you just want us to back up while you turn women into Lesbos. And by defending women for doing what they do you help them to run them selves away from good men and into the arms of bad men which intern forces them to become lesbians in the first place.
100. DJ left...Mon, 01/02/06 9:13 pm>>Any way DJ there is no way you could have a relationship with that much hate for men. <
101. No left...Mon, 01/02/06 9:16 pmYOu would only be able to point that at men who would complain about women not wanting them, not men discussing the topic in the room. Because saying that to men would mean that you think everybody who post something is stupid, or do you feel that it's just Ok for women to do the things I have spoke about.
102. Dave left...Mon, 01/02/06 9:26 pm>>Not men, Stupid, self-important, whiny men with a sense of entitlement.<
103. DJ left...Mon, 01/02/06 9:34 pm>>with a man or a woman this time dj? <
104. DJ left...Mon, 01/02/06 9:40 pmThis sound like a hybrid of narcissistic guys who are also wussies with a low I.Q as well. What an awful combinationYou ain't kidding! Any one of these qualities is undesirable in a man or a woman. Nothing worse than someone who claims to be a "nice guy" who think that alone should entitle him to and endless supply of dates.
105. Mamasan left...Mon, 01/02/06 10:11 pm:: sigh ::No, what the brunette with a bit of meat has to do with this is that when y'all are talking about "women" you don't seem to be describing women. You are describing unemployed or unstable girls.Rod said it best when he said basically that it's not that all women are stupid...It's just that the women y'all want the most are stupid.Well, you chase stupid women, and this is what happens. Why not put some of this same emotional fervor into the single librarian who worked her way through college because she didn't look enough like a model to fool some poor sap into paying for it?The girl who's buying her own drinks at the club?The one who hugs her friends and they know to do it respectfully without 50 odd attempts to feel her up?No, instead you go for the hoes.I got news...a whore's best aphrodisiac is money. If you want a whore or someone who looks like one (as opposed to a librarian, factory worker, engineer, teacher, etc.) then you need to make more money...not sit around here whining about how the whores won't pay you any attention.As far as the "nice" girls who go for jerks, here's some more news. They are not nice. The vast majority except maybe a handful in the world who got duped, are codependent harpies who've had five or six abortions before they got your attention, which is why they're not single moms....but you idiots will pass over a single mom, as if that somehow marks a woman more than a history of using abortions as birth control.Judgemental, arrogant, whining guys are just as much jerks as obvious "bad boys". Both ends of that negativity spectrum are repellant to me.If you're tired of getting turned down, just think of what it's like to be totally ignored. I'm more of an extrovert, but I know plenty of girls who are getting passed over because they don't have the same "next bitch" attitude that I do.As far as I'm concerned, if a guy's not interested or enthusiastic enough, then to hell with him...but not all women are so resilient, especially nice ones.Y'all act like males have a monopoly on pain. You don't.
106. No left...Mon, 01/02/06 10:38 pmDj it sounds like you would rather us all turn into jerks that abuse women.....It's not hard to do that you do realize that right, and it's men not mean. (like I care) and nice guys are not just really nice men I speak of. It's the men who don't sell drugs beat women, and disrepect people for no reason.
107. Mamasan left...Mon, 01/02/06 11:21 pmNo, I don't see her saying that at all. What she's saying is that this whining and complaining over bs and blaming women for a problem that is actually a matter of *personal selection* leads her to believe that many here who claim to be nice are not nice at all.Before you complain about women, perhaps some of y'all need to check yourselves. I know personal responsibility isn't trendy these days, but it is a must.Some guys have good guy problems that are normal to have with good girls. They might have caught one or two bad ones in their entire dating history, but they're not dwelling on that. They're pissed about what good guys who select well are usually pissed about...fakes and phonies, not obvious hoes....which is the same thing good women are pissed about.What most of y'all are complaining about however, is getting turned down by women who even if they did date you, could never possibly appreciate you because you're not stupid like them...or at least you don't seem to be. To me, you are just as stupid as them.Try to look at this from another angle.Imagine me trying to get with your average professional footballer.Dude, after I got done getting rejected by some and used by others with a secret big-mama fetish, I'd be feeling pretty down on myself too.What would you tell me?"You're stupid for chasing footballers and jocks in general. You need a good guy with a real brain and an imagination in him to appreciate someone like you."Get it?
108. No left...Tue, 01/03/06 2:31 pmFirst of all ladies you’re not calling me stupid for a reason you calling me stupid for not being interested in you. You’re not the type of female I’m talking about. I am not talking about my idea of women; I am not talking about me for the last time. READ. Calling me stupid makes no sense I know you want anger in the room but it's pointing at me, and I am not here for you.I am only talking about women who date jerks and claim they want a nice guy. who cares if I’m that nice guy or not I could care less if you think I’m not a nice guy go fuck you self for all I care. Now how nice was that. I am the type of person who respects women I don't hit them dog em out cheat on them flowers and candy. I am not the mean hitting type who could careless about women. But again this isn't about me, shut the hell up.Now again. Why do women like abuse, why not try to change a good men into the qualities that they find in bad boys, good guys want to adjust bad boys don't.
109. No left...Tue, 01/03/06 2:32 pmAnd for the last time this is not about men and women, it's about the dumb things women do in the dating game. Please stick to the topic
110. No left...Tue, 01/03/06 2:33 pmIf the man is broke and ugly as hell we are not speaking of him, if the women is broke fat or ugly as hell we are not speaking of her.
111. Mamasan left...Tue, 01/03/06 2:48 pmNo...first off, you are not a "we". You're a you...one guy....and you're not even the guy who decides what the topic is. Look at the headers. The topic is that women want successful men with power.In this topic we've discussed all kinds of things related to that. You seem to be the only one having trouble sticking to the topic.
112. Mamasan left...Tue, 01/03/06 2:49 pm...and by the way. You don't respect women. You only pretend to respect the ones you want to shag.In other words, you deserve your misery.Next!
113. No left...Tue, 01/03/06 3:26 pmI only wonder how you think your part of this. I can see that you sit in your fat world looking for men to start crap with. Well I just wanted to let you know I have no misery, and where did you get that I would deserve it. Is it because you know I don't like fat girls or what. The things women say are always for the hurting they just jag at anything a man says. If I were mean and heartless you would respect what I say. I am attepting to have a good tope discussions but you only want to fight, it's not my fault your fat
114. DJ left...Tue, 01/03/06 3:39 pmAnother fraud exposed.
115. Adrian left...Tue, 01/03/06 4:28 pmMamasan, in your rants you seem to ALWAYS tell the men to stop chasing stupid women. Why do women think that these men are looking for "super-model" types. Believe it or not, MOST guys want an ordinary, supportive next-girl neighbor type in a "DECENT" package.Before you go all hysterical, and say that I mean that "DECENT" package have to be a "model" type, I'm saying that for me, she can be "average" looking (beauty is in the eye of the beholder), but KNOWS how to take care of her body.For most men, the way a woman appears reflects her self-esteem. She doesn't have to look like a Halle Berry, or Hedi Klum, but TAKE CARE of herself.Now, I play sports, I'm into being physical fit, and I admire women who do the same. Someone I can workout in the gym with, or not. She doesn't have to be an excercise maniac, or nothing of that nature, but take PRIDE in her appearance.I think it's unfair for women to get upset over a man's who has physical standards. Women also have them as well. I think a woman who wakes up beside me in bed, with rollers in her head, an over-sized T-shirt on, cooking breakfast is sexy.I don't expect a woman to look good twenty-four seven, while doing domestic chores. That's unrealistic, and for the men who expect their wives to cook like a pro chef, raise the kids like super nanny, and look like a model WHILE doing it, is being totally unrealistic and irrational.For a wife who does all of these things, and still look her best, I applaud her. You have to realize that while women want their partners to remain romantic, and whatnot, men want their women to remain attractive in their eyes.Men and women are DIFFERENT. For women, the majority of love depend on FEELINGS. For men it's being intimate with your partner emotionally AND physically. For men love and feelings are ALSO a visual concept.It's different for men and women, no one's better than the other, just different.
116. Mamasan left...Tue, 01/03/06 6:52 pmAdrian, you're preaching to the choir...and I never have and never will be hysterical here unless lightning strikes me in the forehead and I change personalities or something.In fact, I said it first that as well programmed as some guys may be, only the truly substandard are going to base their love life on porn or porn/model body type women. It's fantasy. I'm glad some men have them.What I was explaining to No is that, quite simply, he's full of shite. That doesn't have anything to do with you or other guys here who hare having good guy vs. phoney chick problems.I know as well as anybody that it doesn't take a model to manipulate men...just someone with the will to do it. Most of the famous "black widow" and gold digger types actually look relatively plain. A scam artist needs to look innocent, not oversexed. The oversexed looking set their traps in other ways, and capitalize on a different type of men.What I was telling No is that he's in the latter camp, not the former. He says he respects women, but look at what else he says.Does he seem even minimally respectful to you?
117. NO left...Tue, 01/03/06 7:11 pmDj MAMASAN The fuck makes you think I should be respect to you just because I’m respectful to women. You two are Bitches and do nothing but make problems in the room saying everything you can to piss off men to say that their not nice. Oh what since he's nice (and I never said I was jack ass) he should just crumble and agree and let you walk all over him. Being nice isn't being a wimp that's the problem you ladies think that. I can handle my self but, I can't help but to be nice and understanding to women I like. See I don't like you, so why be nice to you. Why be nice to a person who isn't nice at all. So stop attempting to play Nice guy detective because it doesn't work. Bitch.
118. DJ left...Tue, 01/03/06 8:06 pmI get respect from people who matter so isn't no big deal if you don't respect me.
119. Mamasan left...Tue, 01/03/06 8:33 pmNo, I didn't say you should respect me. I'm just saying you don't.I'm a woman. You don't respect women.I don't respect everybody. My respect is earned. If it's not worth enough to you to do so then that's your business, not mine.I'm still telling you that you're full of shite. You speak with a forked tongue. You say you respect women and then turn around and treat women with disrespect just because they tell you to man up.You don't have to take our shite, but it would help if you would wait until you're actually given some, and not react like a wuss.
120. Naiana left...Tue, 01/03/06 9:14 pmOk so you want him to respect you for being a women while you don't respect everybody. And you say respect is earned, so what did you do to earn his respect nothing. Dj speak for your self don't try to protect women who love jerks it doesn't help. I have destroyed my life chasing jerks now i'm 48 and alone. This is what happpens, I try to find a good guy but after men realized being bad can get you the same girls more and more men are going bad, and your so called help is making it wors so please stop. No I understand why you upset, I just hope you don't go bad, I mean it is true it will get you the pretty girls, but in the end if her heart isn't warm you will end up dumping her in less then a year, or a month for most.
121. No left...Tue, 01/03/06 9:16 pmI get respect from people who matter so isn't no big deal if you don't respect me.Dj what the hell did you say. Well i'll say this, yeah you don't matter, why the hell would you matter jack ass, and I would hope I don't matter to you. I mean why would I, get a life.
122. DJ left...Tue, 01/03/06 9:35 pmI agree with Mamasan, you need to stop acting like a wuss. And that you are full of shite.>>Dj what the hell did you say<
123. Chasen left...Tue, 01/03/06 11:30 pmFrom what I seen some women don't really care for power or success like everyone thinks. Hell I got more females when I was unemployeed and broke as oppose to now with me having a government job and everything. But some women are known to try to build a guy with nothing to a successful somebody so it all basically depends on the female.
124. Mamasan left...Wed, 01/04/06 12:30 amNaiana, I never said I wanted him to respect me for being a woman. I personally don't think that's enough to warrant more than general human respect.I'm just stating a fact that the surrounding text does not match with the statement that he respects women is all. I already know he doesn't respect women, and that there's nothing I can do to make it happen, if the women in his offline life haven't accomplished it already.Plain and simple. He's full of shite, and I'm pointing it out.Unlike some women (who I don't respect because they're deceptive and manipulative) I don't need a Womanian translator to decipher my motive for saying what I said. I said exactly what I meant.
125. No left...Wed, 01/04/06 12:42 amOh so now your a school teacher. What is it that you want to say. I mean really, I have been reading your post for a some time and I realy want to know where you stand. Please give me one solid statement of how you feel about men. I already know you hate them.
126. No left...Wed, 01/04/06 12:43 amAnd if you can't understand what I wrote then you are dumb as hell.
127. Ray Thomas left...Wed, 01/04/06 12:44 amTIME OUT! TIME OUT! TIIIIIIIME OUT! YA'LL TAKE A CHILL! YOU NEED TO COOL THAT SHYT OUT! You people sitting here arguing about some stupid ass topic that has been over talked about and fought over.From the words of Bill Maur:"It's all about old and new." Think about it.
128. Ray Thomas left...Wed, 01/04/06 12:45 amAnd I must say that No you had a resounding performance Vs the barrage of Mamasan and DJ. Thanks for the entertainment. lol
129. Ray Thomas left...Wed, 01/04/06 12:45 amAnd I must say that No you had a resounding performance Vs the barrage of Mamasan and DJ. Thanks for the entertainment. lol
130. Mamasan left...Wed, 01/04/06 1:37 amNo, you don't know me at all. I don't hate men. If you bothered to actually read my posts then that would be clear to you.It's just that well...Although I love humanity in general, I don't have a high level of trust or above "I won't punch you for no reason" respect for people in general, whatever gender they are. I'm equally blunt with males and females.I'm a kind person. I take in stray cats, comfort people when they're down, and prone to spontaneously hug someone if they look like they need it. I just don't take crap from people either, and when I notice something particularly disturbing,ironic, or funny, I'm likely to speak up.When a woman says she's looking for a nice guy and constantly goes for jerks, I'm just as quick to tell her she's full of shite as I am to tell you.So you're not special...just either lying or very confused about yourself.
131. Ali left...Wed, 01/04/06 2:14 am :: http://relationships.blog.city.comI agree that like goes to like. Bad folks yearn to be with other bad folks and good folks would rather be around other good ones. The "good" ones who want a bad one, are just...faking the funk in front of everyone (a "good" front)....in reality they're really as bad as they wanna be.Now having said that you can still be fooled...but pay attention to what people *consciously* and consitently gravitate towards and I wouldn't be suprised if that person turned out to be a kindred soul or something
132. Ray Thomas left...Wed, 01/04/06 2:44 amWhat a way to start 2006. Useless arguing and bitching about a banyne subject as bitches chasing money. Give it up people. We all are not gonna see eye to eye on this and every time this topic comes up, or any other thought provoking one such as this comes up, somebody just gotta CHANGE the subject or mood of the conversation into mindless arguing and bitching about respect that really nobody earns on here anyway. Who needs respect over the fucking internet anyway. If you people over the internet to respect or you have a idiotic argument about that then just go kill yaself because you lost.If you didn't like what I just posted, fuck you anyway.
133. Tommy left...Wed, 01/04/06 12:10 pmNo - You're right about DJ, but you're wrong about Mamasan.Mamasan has actually given me good advice, unfortuantely I haven't followed through on it. I have nobody to blame but myself. Even when she disagreed with me or partly agreed with me, she showed me something from her perspective. I have to respect that.Mamasan - Thank you for giving me advice that I will take from now on. I also want to apologize for not taking it much earlier. I'm sorry.No - I can't say the same for DJ. Rod is right when he said that DJ is unable to have a logical conversation. Besides, she most often acted like dismissive condescending snob towards anybody that pointed out facts to her. Apparently, facts are to DJ what a cross is to a vampire.Dave - How did you manage to tolerate me whenever I had my many moments of anger? I hope that I can make my opinions known without losing my temper, even if the person who speaks to me is intolerable.
134. DJ left...Wed, 01/04/06 12:57 pmAt least I can control my temper. I don't have to resort to telling people to kill themselves.I bet women can sense what a hothead you are and that's why they stay away.
135. DJ left...Wed, 01/04/06 1:01 pmThe thing is, some of you are as miserable on this blog as you are in life. When I am away from here I am not "bitching" with people because I have surrounded myself with people who think about what they say before they say it. I have a friend who has 9 kids and thinks women shouldn't work and should stay home. And I love him to pieces because his point of view is well though out, he doesn't try to force it on anyone, HE DOESN'T LOSE HIS TEMPER when people disagree with him, and he is a guy who would be worth staying home for.
136. Mamasan left...Wed, 01/04/06 1:23 pmTommy, thank you for the compliments. However, I want you to consider that DJ and I are from very different perspectives. I'm a spiritual counselor...an unusual type, but a counselor nontheless. DJ is an engineer.I have to think about whether or not what I say is going to help someone or not. She doesn't. That's not her mission. It's her mission to make sure our machines and buildings don't fall apart.So where she is capable of being nurturing, it's not really her job to nurture you. She's just living and trying to relate to people just like you...but just like me, each of you decides whether you're going to let something escalate into an argument, and whether or not this argument is going to be constructive or destructive.In some senses, DJ and other women who post here are your tests in how to relate to women...especially the type of women you'd like to date, and the type of women you'd need to avoid or tell off.DJ can be a handfull, but I don't see her hating on men in general. She's just one of the few honest enough to show genuine contempt for the pussified.I want you to consider what happens when you get into an ego conflict with a female. Think about that for a moment....then consider ways that you could have handled an argument with DJ that wouldn't result in your losing your temper...ways that would have handled it if your objective was to show her your perspective, and not to "win" a personality war.I think alot of the time in your case and others, DJ becomes the villain of your own creation. We all have faults, but for some reason I've noticed that hers are getting blown way out of proportion, and guys are even adding labels that are blatantaly inaccurate.Saying bad things about someone repeatedly does not make them true. Wishing ill on them when they haven't really done you any particular wrong doesn't make them look bad. It makes you look bad.A man needs to be in control of his reactions to things. Mistakes and slip ups are understandable, but generally, that is one of the traits that characterizes a healthy man.In my weight control efforts, some good advice that was given to me is to live as if I was already the weight I wanted to be...not to get settled into being a fat, low energy person, or avoid activities I wanted to participate in.Tommy, live and behave as if you are already the man you want to be. Then you'll find challenging women less of a challenge. They'll be challenging you to think rather than goading you into a reaction.
137. Chester The Cat left...Wed, 01/04/06 1:23 pm :: http://www.recdir.com/outdoors/camping/c"I bet women can sense what a hothead you are and that's why they stay away."*screeches and hisses*
138. NO left...Wed, 01/04/06 1:40 pmMen DJ you get in it with every guy on this site, why are you so angry are you that fucking ugly or do you stink or what the fuck man.
139. NO left...Wed, 01/04/06 1:48 pmMen DJ you get in it with every guy on this site, why are you so angry are you that fucking ugly or do you stink or what the fuck man.
140. DJ left...Wed, 01/04/06 1:53 pmI just marvel at the "why can't I get a girlfriend" attitudes around here. As if it is such a big mystery as to why that is.
141. DJ left...Wed, 01/04/06 2:00 pmWhat do some of you think you have to offer women? Bitterness? A bad temper? Lame insults? Combined with ZERO confidence, ZERO charisma, and ZERO personality. And day in and day out you wonder why women only want "bad boys". Some women do date bad boys, and A LOT of women date nice guys. But nody wants someone with a bad attitude and not much else.
142. Tommy left...Wed, 01/04/06 2:47 pmMamasan -I admit and understand that I was completely wrong for wishing horrible events on others. I also admit that I was wrong for using degrading language and letting things escalate into a nasty argument.Many times, I often pointed out examples A, B, and C to her to prove my conclusions correct. She often responded with contempt. Still, I should have controlled my temper. I will try to keep my temper in check and point out my conclusions in a constructive manner.I think it would be for the best if both DJ and I don't speak to each other. I will still come on here, but I just won't talk to her.
143. Ray Thomas left...Wed, 01/04/06 3:17 pmAwww DJ. You just had to shoot subliminals at what I said huh? What you got against me? I wasn't talking about you, eventhough you do some of things I was talking about to begin with. And it's a shame that you would sit up here and throw YOUR friends and YOUR relationship in everybody's face because you think YOU are better than everybody else on here. That's all I hear from you is how us men bitch about how we can't get girls when that is proportionally not the case on here. We talk about women and their bad behaviors and how it makes us sick to our stomachs. While you sit there and type bullshyt rants and self serving arguements against us. Talking about controlling your temperment. MY ASS!
144. DJ left...Wed, 01/04/06 4:49 pmOkay, continue to be hostile, BORING, bitter and alone. Don't make me no difference.
145. DJ left...Wed, 01/04/06 5:00 pm>>Do you honestly think we do the same shyt we do on this fucking blog?<
146. NO left...Wed, 01/04/06 6:12 pmWow that lady has some issues, why els would she spend half her life in this blog.
147. DJ left...Wed, 01/04/06 8:57 pm>>why els would she spend half her life in this blog. <
148. Ali left...Wed, 01/04/06 9:06 pm :: http://relationships.blog-city.comI wonder if the people who actually wanted to get some questions answered about this topic ended up getting what they were looking for...?
149. DJ left...Wed, 01/04/06 9:24 pmThey didn't get the answers they wanted to hear, so it's probably like not getting answers at all.
150. Ali left...Wed, 01/04/06 10:20 pm :: http://relationships.blog-city.comOk...and for clarity's sake the answers in regards to the topic of the post that you would give are...? (sorry, I got lost in all the arguing up there).
151. DJ left...Wed, 01/04/06 11:16 pm>>and for clarity's sake the answers in regards to the topic of the post that you would give are...? <
152. Ray Thomas left...Thu, 01/05/06 12:38 amOkay DJ, continue to criticise men and everything on this blog because evidently you don't have a enough back bone to stare a challenging question in the face to answer it. This crab ass nigga is done, what's next on the list of fuckers to tell off?
153. Ali left...Thu, 01/05/06 12:45 am :: http://relationships.blog-city.comOk well then I take it you disagree with the original post?
154. Ali left...Thu, 01/05/06 1:54 am :: http://relationships.blog-city.comI'll rephrase what the topic seems to be stating: Women (in general) tend to want to "marry up" in terms of things like money, status, influence, etc. Agree? Disagree? Not sure?Note: This is not to say that all such women are golddiggers or that any women who want to marry up are necessarally bad or detrimental. I'm just trying to note the presence or absence of trends (i.e. do you either acknowlege or deny that a trend exists?)
155. DJ left...Thu, 01/05/06 9:04 amLike I said before, if that were true, plenty of men would not be married.
156. DJ left...Thu, 01/05/06 9:13 amMaybe I should say if that were entirely true. Seems men mainly care about these type of women because they are usually pretty or open about sex. Guys tend to focus on these women, as if they represent all women.Ray Thomas, do you really think that is telling me off? If your insults actually hurt my feelings, I'd stop coming here, but part of the fun is seeing what goofy things some of you will say next.
157. NO left...Thu, 01/05/06 9:39 amSo Dj what's your point.. Do you think men should turn into bad boys, turn into Gay men. Let women rule the world and take a space ship to another planet, live and let die. I mean you jump on so many sides just to insult men that you loose site of what your point is. Just to let you know, all of the above has been your points. You try to force every man who has problems with women to suck it up, let women fuck them selves over with the dirt bag men the YOU DEFEND, and then you try make the guy complaining about the women feel like he is in the same boat as the guy dogging out women. Your lost in stupid and have no clue. All crazy britches are. You’re telling us that we should let up and let the games play. You don't realize that by doing what you’re doing you saying it's ok for women to keep running them selves in the ground with these men who love to do so. I keep hearing men after talking with you say "maybe I should just start dogging women out" and you always saying something that tells me your happy to hear that. "See MAMASAN I told you there all the same :)" I don't know where your anger comes from by I can tell that you. Fucked over good guy after good guy and got fucked over by looser after looser, and now you sitting in this blog looking for some guy to help you feel better about the life that you sweetie wasted away.
158. NO left...Thu, 01/05/06 9:41 amNo matter what you will still get up from the computer and see the same ugly used up piece of shit no matter what we say, no matter what we do. It's true you are praying on damaged men, men damaged from being good, from approaching the world with a good heart and mind, and got nothing but heart ache and pain from
159. NO left...Thu, 01/05/06 9:41 amNo matter what you will still get up from the computer and see the same ugly used up piece of shit no matter what we say, no matter what we do. It's true you are praying on damaged men, men damaged from being good, from approaching the world with a good heart and mind, and got nothing but heart ache and pain from
160. DJ left...Thu, 01/05/06 10:01 amI care when actually good guys get screwed over. I could care less if self-important, hostile, passive aggressive (or aggressive aggressive) men with a chip on their should do who think they know everything. If that applies to you, then oh well, only you can change your life for the better, and it's obvious some guys like that don't want to.And I don't know what you think calling me names is going to accomplish. It's not going to magically land you a woman, it's not going to change anything, it's just going to make me understand even more why life is the way it is for you.
161. James left...Thu, 01/05/06 10:47 amWell I don't know where your going with this but if you cared you wouldn't reply with anger when they do respond. You behave like an angry little freak. You get upset when men get upset for being nice to women and getting nothing but B.S. So you just as bad off as they are. You’re not thinking in the right direction. The men are fed up hurt and looking for answers and you just telling them. Ha Ha. That’s what you get for being a man. You’re happy that they are getting hurt. Because you’re hurt. What should they do just role over and suck it up. I don't know your stand you want them to be nice all the time be humble why should anybody be humble about this. You say all the aggressive passive aggressive stuff they only apply to those who use them in it’s self. You’re not looking at the open field here. You said you hate nice guys in a nutshell there for you’re that girl you’re that female that is part of the problem. You don't like them for being nice.If your nice to women they will walk all over you, see how DJ tries to do the same. Your just another crazy Bitch looking for blood, counter reform, your going against anything that would make it ok for men to be nice. You challenge men to talk down about women choosing to be shitty to those who are good to them. You tell men to stop complaining about women doing such, but why that’s what the blog is for. Then you claim that He isn’t a nice guy because he is talking to blunt against the stupid things the women are doing. Running themselves into the ground with a jerk telling the world all men are dogs and walking all over the guys who aren’t dogs when she finds them. I’ll bet you like this because you are ………A FEMINIST AND U WANT ALL MEN TO CRUMBLE WHILE U TURN ALL THE WOMEN INTO LESBIANS JUST LIKE YOU.
162. James left...Thu, 01/05/06 10:51 amIt's ok to humble up and just admit your wrong, especialy when you are most of the time.
163. Dave left...Thu, 01/05/06 11:43 am>>DJ Comment Maybe I should say if that were entirely true. Seems men mainly care about these type of women because they are usually pretty or open about sex. Guys tend to focus on these women, as if they represent all women.<
164. Tommy left...Thu, 01/05/06 12:17 pmJames - Thank you.
165. DJ left...Thu, 01/05/06 12:31 pmWhat a surprise, James is back. Like nobody knew he wasn't back already. Let see, zeroing in on calling DJ names, many grammar and spelling mistakes. I knew you were back, so it's no surprise to see you posting.You can spout your sad little insults all you want, won't change the fact that women dog you and guys like you out. It won't even the score, it won't hurt my feelings, won't stop me from posting, won't stop me from feelings sorry for you, and won't stop life from going on.If you and guys like you are the "nice" guys, then I don't want to see what kind of guy is an asshole.Thank you Dave and Ali (and sometimes Chasen)for being the MEN on this board with any sense and anything worth while to say.
166. James left...Thu, 01/05/06 12:37 pmYou know me, I don't think so, crazy lady. Not the same guy. So chill out.
167. NO left...Thu, 01/05/06 12:45 pmShe has a point we only care about the women who are pretty. So why are you so concern with what we say then DJ. LoL sorry I had to. Look no man wants an ugly girlfriend, just like no women wants a weak man. YOu see the problem is that women think being nice is a sign that men are weak. No way is that true problem number one.Being nice is a reaction to a men finding a female to be very attractive it's just how good men are. The mother can be blamed for that. If you think you can walk all over every man that's nice to you......Try it.
168. Ali left...Thu, 01/05/06 12:46 pm :: http://relationships.blog-city.com"Maybe I should say if that were entirely true. Seems men mainly care about these type of women because they are usually pretty or open about sex. Guys tend to focus on these women, as if they represent all women."Not really, DJ. I've met plenty of women who were neither all that pretty nor very open about sex who still wanted their man to be the shit in those aforementioned aspects. Again, the trend is not limited to pretty or liberated women, based on what I have observed. And some within that group have admitted they have lowered their standards and "settled" for someone who is less than what they originally wanted, just because they "needed a man" or their clock was ticking or they got pregnant by the guy. So they marry not their prince charming, with all the bells and whistles, but the regular guy next door, simply because he was attainable to them (or he was the guy who was willing to give them a commitment). However, although these women may not have married up, the question to ask is, are they really HAPPY with who they married? Or do they constantly sit there and wish they had better? (if they didn't marry up, do they later regret this and wish they did?) I have a hunch that this may be a major underlying factor behind affairs and flings and things of that nature (her unfair and disproportionate revenge on him because he wasn't successful enough to give her the life she wanted). Of course, the same corrorlary goes for the guys who feel they are "settling" for a woman who is not their first choice, all for the sake of being in a relationship...they will always want more and will be tempted.I don't think anyone should "settle" because that ensures you will not be happy in the long term, and also your partner won't be happy due to being looked at as second rate either.
169. Ali left...Thu, 01/05/06 12:59 pm :: http://relationships.blog-city.com"No", you don't speak for all men. I don't think we all only care about the women who are pretty or sexually open. I've actually pursued women who were neither. Unfortunately they had their heads in that Cinderella-and-Prince-Charming fantasy or I guess I didn't make enough money or I wasn't handsome enough or I wasn't a made man yet or whatever the reason. And on the other side of the coin, I've seen plenty of women put 99.9% of the focus on the act of GETTING A MAN and GETTING MARRIED (only later to be dissatisfied with who they chose in their desperation), and only 0.1% on making sure that they and the man are compatible and a good match, making sure he is truly who she wants to be with, and that they SHOULD be together, etc. 3 guesses as to which method will make it more likely for you to find your soulmate or at least a happy ever after kind of relationship!Hey, let this be a lesson for both sexes. Money runs out and looks fade. It's a fact of life, yall. So chose your mate on the basis of real love, meshing personalities, shared core values, and so on, these are the things that matter. All that superficial crap crumbles and falls away with time but the core person will always be there, and thats' what you have to make sure you can be in synch with.
170. Ali left...Thu, 01/05/06 1:04 pm :: http://relationships.blog-city.comOur mothers taught us to be nice to women and respect them, etc. because that's what we're *supposed to do*. If we do that and it somehow comes back and bites us in the ass...I really don't know what to say about it. To show respect and then get disrespected because somebody takes your kindness for a weakness....well it makes you wonder what was the point of going thru the trouble in the first place.If women don't respect nice guys then eventually nice guys will learn to stop being so nice if it is always working against them (hey, EVERYBODY wants respect, right?).
171. NO left...Thu, 01/05/06 1:11 pmBeing pretty isn't about looks only, you wouldn't chase a girl you weren't attracted to. I am talking about the women you find attractive. Being pretty is in the eyes of the person who holds it's view. I am what you would call a open minded person. She doesn't have to look the best, but she must hold her slef as such. That's what I mean, and all men feel that way all men.
172. NO left...Thu, 01/05/06 1:18 pmBut ali this blog is about the realy good looking women. If you ok with fat ugly women you shouldn't have a problem. Those women can't get bad boyz, bad boyz don't mess with ugly women.
173. NO left...Thu, 01/05/06 1:19 pm :: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fusThis was posted by a girl on myspace.com
174. Mamasan left...Thu, 01/05/06 1:35 pmNo and James, both of you need to decide whether what it is you want here is pity or sympathy. It's hard to respect someone you pity at the same time....and I don't know how long either of you have been on the net, but let me tell you, this cursing people out is not going to get you what you want. You can't physically intimidate anyone here, and everyone here has equal voice except Dave, because it's his blog.So both of you need to cool your jets. Each of us has enough faults that none of us needs to make up imaginary ones to apply to the others.Both of you appear to be extremely irrational and unreasonable. If this is how you want to be perceived then fine...eventually everyone else will get tired of your crap, and the hammer will fall....but if you want to seem credible, then you must make credible arguments. You must conduct yourself like people who want a conversation, not people who demand unquestioning obedience from people who actually owe you nothing that you do not owe them.
175. NO left...Thu, 01/05/06 1:42 pmOk your right, but I was making a strong attempt to get DJ to see my point, but the women have too much fire. She gets off on defeating people who are already broken. MAMASAN I don't know about James but I came in this blog asking weather I should go bad or master being Nice, or just sit around be me and hope. Also why it is that being good to women is a turn off. I mean they say that women who like abuse are mest up anyway, true, but I am seeing all kinds of girls going for these men. It's like 90% what gives.
176. James left...Thu, 01/05/06 1:42 pmWell she is crazy the woman thinks she knows me.
177. James left...Thu, 01/05/06 1:50 pmWhat hammer your fat ass. Look who the hell are you and what makes you think your some all time blog lady. Your life seems to be in this blog, I read this blog for weeks before I started to post. I see your stand is, that men should start dating women who aren’t so attractive, and that they shouldn't complain about attractive women doing the crazy things if their not going for the unattractive women the fat ones. Well lady I got News for you, any female who feels this way shouldn't have much to say in this blog because she would have a man.Check this out, All types of women date dirt bags. It's the good ones who do this. Women say plane as day ..........NICE IS BAD BAD IS GOOD.
178. Mamasan left...Thu, 01/05/06 2:06 pmNo, the way you've been going about attempting to get her to see your point has failed. You can choose another method, or you can accept that perhaps it's something she can't relate to, or you can continue down the same road and keep getting the same result.James, personal attacks will not help your case.
179. NO left...Thu, 01/05/06 2:14 pmI realy don't care about Dj I just wanted her to shut the hell up. I wasn't tryen to make a point I was tryen to tell my story that's all. She wants men to back up while she turns them into carpet munchers.
180. James left...Thu, 01/05/06 2:18 pmWell maybe you should do it then. Don't worry there are guys who like fat girls, but fat girls run over nice guys the same as pretty girls do. Ugly isn't all what people think it is. Ugly to me is being ugly. Like guys can be good looking but women will find him ugly fro being to nice.
181. DJ left...Thu, 01/05/06 2:32 pm>>Dj I just wanted her to shut the hell up. <
182. Ali left...Thu, 01/05/06 2:36 pm :: http://relationships.blog-city.comI don't think the name calling and cattyness helps anybody understand anything, and what's worse, it stops whatever discussion was going on right in its tracks. In fact it adds fuel to the fire and nobody's listening to anybody while they smell something burning.About that blog post from myspace, if what that person said was true, then women would not get played...ever. Because they would always know what the players were up to. Well hey maybe they do know what they're in for and they're along for the "rush"....I don't know, but if you knowingly choose to play the game you have to accept the consequences, whatever they turn out to be.The take home lesson I got from all that though is you should trust your gut instincts, sense of "scents", intuition, common sense or whatever. If you're paying attention to those, you might be able to see bullshit coming before it hits the fan. Maybe if guys would learn to be more in tune with those "senses", they would be able to spot a golddigger in disguise or a ho-ish woman in decent lady's clothing. Unfortunately we weren't trained by our mothers to be in tune with that like women were so we have to learn late.
183. DJ left...Thu, 01/05/06 3:12 pmPeople behave foolishly, then they blame others for their foolish behaviour. I am not too religious, but I have alway thought that intuition was God's way of trying to warn us about things. It's up to you whether you choose to listen or not.
184. No left...Thu, 01/05/06 3:16 pmOH so you just sit there like a ten year old brat running your mouth for no reason just talking and talking and talking sayng nothing but bullshit. Right. That carpet munching thing was about you. Your anger for getting dissed by so many men (I knew you were ugly) is coming out in the way your talking to me. YOu picked a fight with every body. Who is James the guy you think this guy james is or the other james the one you looking for. LoL what did he shut you ugly ass down to.
185. Cloe left...Thu, 01/05/06 3:18 pmUmm isn't that what you doing.
186. Tommy left...Thu, 01/05/06 3:20 pmJames - From what I've read, Mamasan hasn't said at any time that we should lower our standards. I think what she was saying was that we should not limit ourselves to just one particular type of woman.I do agree that good guys have a much harder time than jerks do in terms of finding dates and girlfriends. That is obvious. I also agree that there are many women who mock the good guys and chase jerks. I think that these particular women should be strongly taken to task or you can laugh at their misery if you come in contact with them some time down the road.
187. Mamasan left...Thu, 01/05/06 3:50 pmNo, actually it was James who got shut down. As they say, be careful where you plant your flag.I'll spare you the details because I like to give people a second chance...though he doesn't seem too interested in taking it.
188. Ray Thomas left...Thu, 01/05/06 3:58 pm*Look at this shyt. I ain't gotta say anymore because there's other giving this self indulgent bitch entertainment.*Look, New James and No and Tommy, and everbody else that gets into petty, shitty ass arguements with her, JUST STOP TRYING TO MAKE YOUR POINT TO HER OR EVEN TALK TO HER IN THE FIRST PLACE! She's a bitch and proud of it. She loves it when we go after her. Think about it. The only insults she will ever give you is that "you can't find a woman. You are this and that you will die alone because you suck!" That's basically all she will say back to you. She will never shut the fuck up. She will never post logical reasoning. She will be the ying to out logical yang when it comes to it. And I think not many people come to this blog seeking pity or sympathy nor empathy Mamasan. I came on here because a comrad of mine showed this I couldn't believe the bullshyt I saw spouting from different peoples post and things and to also better understand FOR MYSELF as into why I had such a hard time with the women folk. That was mainly it for me. It's just arguements that people have with likes of Mandy and DJ and everybody else that only speaks their uneducated and often times self centered and negative comments to people and the people who feed in to their ignorant rants and perdisposed theories about a lot of men who post on here is, to me, what's ruining this blog in my eyes. I can admit i'm wrong for the things I say. I got enough back bone to admit over the net. And yes, i've had these kind of conversations outside this blog and I get the same resistance and rage and cattiness as I do from here because many women and men don't wanna look at it for what it is. The would is fucked up and you might be too. But it bees like that when people don't wanna admit that they are wrong at times. So the go tro childish name calling and cattiness because it's easier to do that and redicule them for the human faults than to try to undersand them...right DJ?Other than that, like I said, If you don't like certain people on here, than just ignore them. Because if you try to use logical reasoning and understanding with a child, it's only gonna turn into the shyt storm we have on this thread.
189. DJ left...Thu, 01/05/06 4:21 pm>>The only insults she will ever give you is that "you can't find a woman. <
190. DJ left...Thu, 01/05/06 4:23 pm>>The only insults she will ever give you is that "you can't find a woman. <
191. DJ left...Thu, 01/05/06 4:26 pmAnd at least I say what I have to say under 1 ID. I don't need to hide behind 3 or 4 different IDs just so I can agree with myself.
192. DJ left...Thu, 01/05/06 4:49 pmAnd why is it women rarely comment on this blog? Mamasan is much more constructive with her observations and criticisms than I am and even she gets talked to rudely.I've read some of the posts from long before I even posted on here and it seems some of you are just as narrow-minded and hateful now as when you first started posting. You haven't learned anything, you haven't grown, you haven't matured. You haven't helped others.
193. Ali left...Thu, 01/05/06 5:05 pm :: http://relationships.blog-city.comWell...so much for this thread...may it rest in peace....BTW nice pic Mamasan.
194. Tommy left...Thu, 01/05/06 5:08 pmRay Thomas -I said earlier that I simply won't speak to DJ anymore. She can't handle facts and instead responds to them with dismissive condescension."She will never post logical reasoning"I know. Logical reasoning is a foreign concept to her. It's like I said earlier: facts are to DJ what a cross is to a vampire.I will still insult DJ just like she insults me and every other guy on here. The only differences are that:1) I will do it in the most matter-of-fact manner possible.2) I won't speak directly to DJ or Mandy.3) I accept that DJ and Mandy are hopeless cases, and will instead show facts to the other members of this blog since the vast majority of them can be reasoned with.
195. Tommy left...Thu, 01/05/06 5:39 pmOn second thought, maybe I'll just stop speaking to those two.
196. DJ left...Thu, 01/05/06 5:56 pmIt doesn't matter if you speak to me or not, I will still get a kick out of you spazzing and telling me to kill myself then apologizing to everyone for being a spazz.
197. Tommy left...Thu, 01/05/06 6:05 pmHmmmmm. If only DJ got lost.
198. DJ left...Thu, 01/05/06 6:35 pmWe won't even go into the things "if only Tommy got".
199. DJ left...Thu, 01/05/06 6:39 pmAnd back when that girl dissed you I really felt bad for you T. Not in a "he's so sad" kind of way, but in a "he didn't deserve to be jerked around" kind of way. But now that you've showed your true colors, it's obvious even though you are young, you have some maturing to do before you get the kind of women you want.
200. Adrian left...Fri, 01/06/06 1:30 am>>Maybe I should say if that were entirely true. Seems men mainly care about these type of women because they are usually pretty or open about sex. Guys tend to focus on these women, as if they represent all women.<< DJI'm not trying to start an argument here DJ, but as I stated earlier, everything you say about men can be rephrased for women.Men have all heard the "all guys are the same", and "They're all dogs" lines and what not.Now I'm an observer, and it seems to me that alot of women tend to focus on these sexually men, because of the (insert whatever women tend to "feel" nowadays), as if they represent ALL men.If you are a guy and you're attracted to "sexually" open women, then maybe you need to change your outlook on women, and not lump ALL women into generalisations.If you are a woman and you're attracted to thugs, playboys, jerks, bad boys, etc. Then maybe you need to change your outlook on the men you're attracted to, and not lump ALL men into generalisations.I think what No and James were trying to say, is that they really don't care if the woman is attracted to them. Just that women who are going around sleeping with "jerk/bad boys" need to stop generalisizing ALL men as "no good" or whatnot.It just seems as if everytime a guy complains about women, women become upset and tell that guy that he's just meeting the wrong women. Well women also have to understand that the same goes for them.That's my whole thought on the matter. I think most guys on this blog were trying to say that, even if they did it in a "harsh" way.I'll have to say that Mamasan have stated that Men AND women need to change their outlooks. It just seems like alot of women who come on this blog have a "suck it up" attitude.Well that's cool with me, but expect the same when you complain about being dogged by a "jerk, player, bad boy, smooth-talker" etc. It just seems like when men tell those women to suck it up, women on this blog say "See you're no nice guy." What?So it's okay for you to tell someone to suck it up, but it's not okay for me, without being labeled the "angry, nice guy" when I'm not.DJ, once again I'm not trying to start an argument here, but if you dish out the suck-it-up demeanor, then someone is also going to dish it right back out, that's just reality. And when they do, I think it's kind of crazy to say "Now see, he's not a nice guy."While, when you stick to that demeanor, you say that you're just being "real" or whatnot. But if someone else comes with that demeanor, you stick the so-called "angry, nice guy" label on that person.I'm sorry,but that's just not fair, doesn't make sense, and irrational.Once again, I've stated that Men AND women, are responsible for their relationship choices, and those they choose to pursue for one. As Mamasan and myself have stated, Men AND women are responsible for their OWN choices.Don't blame it on jerks, bad boys, or whathave you.(Men)Don't blame it on feelings, DNA, or whathave you. (Women)
201. Ali left...Fri, 01/06/06 5:25 am :: http://www.recdir.com/food/If I'm not mistaken, Mandy doesn't even post here anymore. At least not often.
202. DJ left...Fri, 01/06/06 9:36 am>>but as I stated earlier, everything you say about men can be rephrased for women.<
203. DJ left...Fri, 01/06/06 9:49 amAnd something to think about:When you watch the news, and they are talking about someone who has committed a crime, what is the first thing people always say about him?"He seemed like such a nice guy". Well obviously just because he seemed nice (or even said that he was) didn't make it true. I read somewhere people shouldn't strive to be nice, but to be kind.
204. Dave left...Fri, 01/06/06 9:54 am>>This blog is basically for men to complain about women, even though it's called RELATIONSHIPS<
205. Dave left...Fri, 01/06/06 9:59 am>> I read somewhere people shouldn't strive to be nice, but to be kind.<
206. NO left...Fri, 01/06/06 10:20 amIt's not that you didn't say it DJ it's that you jump back at men with all types of bullshit like women are not as bad when for the most part they are worst, and often loose in the end........... Old age.
207. NO left...Fri, 01/06/06 10:22 amI swear, some of you are cattier than women. <<< DJPut your name and address i'll show you catty.
208. NO left...Fri, 01/06/06 10:27 amactually it was James who got shut down. <<< MAMASANHow did you shut me down. Where are you going with shutting me down. I am in this room looking for a better way to get women. Where is it that I need shutting down. What did you say, really.
209. James left...Fri, 01/06/06 10:53 amNO, no she was talking about she shut me down. I would also like no how she didn't say anything not that I read anyway.
210. NO left...Fri, 01/06/06 10:56 amNah the fat bitch keeps bunching me and you in the same baot, Dj thinking she know you. Look all I gotta say is I know where I stand and it has been said. If you gonna say Men are this and that stick to the jack ass you dated. That is my spill I hate that. I sure as hell won't fuck a good thing when and If I get one. Yes I don't only look at the pretty girls but what is wrong with that. It's not like i'm looking for super sexy women. Just nice looking women good clean and happy. Not some sexy black dress wearing girl not what i'm allways talking about, and yes those kinds of girls date jerks to. Church girls and all.
211. Tommy left...Fri, 01/06/06 11:01 amI'll bet that DJ's husband is filling out divorce papers as we speak. If he is, then he has declared his independence from the shrew.
212. DJ left...Fri, 01/06/06 11:01 amNo and James are the same person? Who'd a thunk it.A better way to get women is to not have such a temper and bad attitude. That's pretty universal for men and women.
213. DJ left...Fri, 01/06/06 11:06 amGive it up James, we already figured you and No are the same person. You must have been responding in a hurry and then realized you typed "No" as your name instead of "James". It was easy to tell the way the "two" of you would post within minutes of each other and always agree with each other. Why do you do that? Why can't you just be 1 ID like everyone else? It's kind of weird.
214. DJ left...Fri, 01/06/06 11:10 amTommy, not only do you have a very bad temper, but you don't understand things very well. I am not married, so my boyfriend doesn't have any obligation to me, he stays because he cares about me, not because he feels he has to. If you ever get into a relationship maybe you will find out what that's like.
215. Tommy left...Fri, 01/06/06 12:42 pmIn that case, I hope that DJ's boyfriend will break it off.I remember seeing Mamasan write that DJ is a handful. That is the understatement of the new year.
216. Ali left...Fri, 01/06/06 1:29 pm :: http://relationships.blog-city.comCan yall stop it with the back and forth insults please? It doesn't say good things about any of yall for doing that. It may take 1 person to start shit but you must agree it takes more than one to keep it going on and on like this. Yall are only really continuing to argue because you want to at this point."Yeah, cause nice guys call women bitches and tell them to take cyanide pills."True nice guys don't do that (or at least they won't make a habbit of it). Those are asshole behaviors. But then again who on this thread claimed *they* were nice? Lol. I think people who treat others with respect and honesty and who don't have ulterior motives when dealing with people...they do have a legit right to complain because they didn't do anything to deserve getting treated badly. The fakers who are just posing as nice people or trying to show people a side of them that doesn't really exist...are just crying because they tried to fool somebody and it didn't work...they played the dice game and happened to crap out (hey, it's like gambling...if you are a player, you win some and you lose some).
217. DJ left...Fri, 01/06/06 2:12 pm>>In that case, I hope that DJ's boyfriend will break it off. <
218. Ali left...Fri, 01/06/06 2:22 pm :: http://relationships.blog-city.comOne
219. DJ left...Fri, 01/06/06 2:26 pmMore ways than one, that's how that line should have read.
220. Mamasan left...Fri, 01/06/06 4:30 pmOkay, I've had about enough of this too. I don't know if No and James are the same person, but they're definitely using the same computer.James, this is your final warning. Play your games elsewhere.
221. Ali left...Fri, 01/06/06 6:09 pm :: http://relationships.blog-city.comI think it's fair to expect that your significant other/spouse make a salary that is at least in the same ball park as yours. That way you are assured they have the means to take care of themselves financially and you can reduce the odds that they are mooching off of you.
222. Mamasan left...Fri, 01/06/06 6:31 pmAli, I don't think it's wise to expect such a thing. I think it is wise to look for someone with a compatible lifestyle and goals.Some guys want a woman who's willing to be a home maker. It would make more sense to pursue someone who was in that field or whose activities outside of work were indicative of this.
223. Chasen left...Fri, 01/06/06 6:57 pmFunny how power and control is always established in a relationship based on the salary people make. The more you make, the more you control. Glad I work for the government.
224. Ali left...Fri, 01/06/06 7:46 pm :: http://relationships.blog-city.comHey, in this day and age when the have-nots are trying to get theirs at your expense...can't be too careful. They have to bring something to the table too, don't they? Lots of people want to live it up and kick back while you break your back. If what they bring to the table comes in the form of homemaker skills and valuable complementation then fine. I'm just saying you have to watch out for those who want to use you as a mealticket under the guise of being a "homemaker". They must also be supportive to the household/family unit, and not simply seek to gain from what you have to offer.In other words, they need to be working as hard as you are (in one form or another) to build a happy home with you.
225. Christina left...Fri, 01/06/06 8:01 pmYOU CAN NEVER REALLY TRUST A MAN WITH A LOT OF POWER AND MONEY ! Most of them are players, isnt this the topic?
226. Christina left...Fri, 01/06/06 8:14 pmMamasan - you are correct here - "Some guys want a woman who's willing to be a home maker. It would make more sense to pursue someone who was in that field or whose activities outside of work were indicative of this."I've recently passed up on the opportunity to be the woman in one mans life who was very rich, body builder body, good looks, nice family etc and the whole lot, a great package for the girl who wants all of that.I passed up this opportunity - because I know he has too much power and would play behind my back. I myself would not put up with all the riches just to sit at home, have his babies and be sick to the stomach about him tripping off to some buisness trip that involves casinos, clubs and all the rest..Power and money - scares most of us women, and I think men have it wrong if they want an understanding, fun loving, loyal and devoted person who is just attracted to them alone.I'd rather the poor boy who can sit in the grass and have a beer with me - more easy going.
227. Chasen left...Fri, 01/06/06 8:52 pmI don't want no homemaker wife. Hell I wouldn't mind my wife making more money then me. As long as she is working, that's all that matters. Not all men who have money play around on their women. Hell, men who are broke can cheat just as easy too so hey.Some women are attracted to power and success. They feel if they get with the guy who has it all, that's it's a easy ride up. Other females fear it for the same reasons you described Christina. It just depends if the female feels he is worth the risk.
228. Christina left...Fri, 01/06/06 8:55 pmGuess I'm a coward when it comes to taking risks ... guess it's FEAR!
229. Mamasan left...Fri, 01/06/06 9:15 pmA guy having money and power doesn't automatically mean that he's going to cheat...nor does not having it mean that he won't cheat. It's a myth just like the one about a girl being pretty meaning that she's going to cheat, and plain to ugly girls being more faithful.In a couple, what goes on around two people is irrelevant. What matters is the character of those two people.Looking back on all my boyfriends of varying income levels, only one of them ever cheated on me that I knew of, and that was back in high school. Most guys with money who just want to play around, do exactly that...and when they want to commit, they do that. Having the money just makes it easier to do whatever it is they have a mind to do at that time.It's just that people who are attractive for whatever reason, are going to be more visible than people who aren't. When a politician or famous guy cheats, it's a scandal, but when the average Joe does, it's a contained relatively quiet tragedy.More money brings more temptation for both men and women. There are guys who are as much gold diggers as women, and every woman who makes above a certain income knows this. Just as sure as there have been sugardaddies, there are sugarmamas too. The latter are just generally quieter about it.I don't even think they are fewer in numbers. Most older businesswomen I know have a few bitches...especially single ones, but some married ones do too....but if a person's character is weak, they can be a cheater on the dole or as a fry cook.
230. Christina left...Fri, 01/06/06 9:28 pmThat is very powerful, positive and optimistic;"A guy having money and power doesn't automatically mean that he's going to cheat...nor does not having it mean that he won't cheat. It's a myth just like the one about a girl being pretty meaning that she's going to cheat, and plain to ugly girls being more faithful."I didn't think of it that way relating to the attractive woman part also ...Again I must be a coward ... not to give it a chance or take the risks ...
231. Chasen left...Fri, 01/06/06 10:15 pmIt doesn't mean you're a coward. You just choose to play it safe. Just like I don't approach females. It's not that I'm scared. I just like to play it safe. It nothing wrong with that.
232. Christina left...Fri, 01/06/06 11:24 pmAh yes those must be the words I'm probably looking for Chasen, "play it safe" ... I like my happy feelings !
233. Mamasan left...Sat, 01/07/06 5:52 amI just don't see a benefit in always playing it safe. I'm no fan of bad boys, but I do accept nature (including intelligence, but still).I don't approach men unless that is the only feasable means to get a particular one I'm very impressed by's attention (which is very rare), or my intent is purely platonic (which is very common).It is not because I'm afraid or traditional. It's because I like sex very much. If a guy doesn't make a move or respond fairly enthusiastically to flirting, then chances are that he's not going to be able to "keep up" no matter how much he likes me as a person...and I mean that in both sexual and emotional intensity.This is also not based on dreams and fairytales. It's based on experience. Whenever I've made exceptions or compromises about intensity, I've ended up with someone who couldn't keep up. Whenever I've required intensity, the *only* thing that broke us up were circumstantial issues that the guy didn't have the confidence to overcome (like family expectations/rules), life surprises that were out of either of our control, or death.A guy can tell you whatever, but Mr. Happy doesn't lie. He likes what he likes and doesn't what he doesn't.Time doesn't lie either. There are only 24 hours in a day no matter what we do, and life moves pretty fast. What a guy decides to do with his time has everything to do with what he really wants...and if he really doesn't want to let you pass him by, he's going to speak up and he's going to make you a priority."Masculine pretense" will screw up a few guys, but when it comes right down to it, most are just either into you or not. If they're into you then they'll figure out a way of showing it. If you have to guess then you already have your answer.
234. Christina left...Sat, 01/07/06 6:25 amWow ----- As the song goes; I've got love on my mind, aint no use in wasting time ...
235. Dave left...Sat, 01/07/06 9:10 am>>YOU CAN NEVER REALLY TRUST A MAN WITH A LOT OF POWER AND MONEY ! Most of them are players, isnt this the topic?<
236. DJ left...Sat, 01/07/06 9:39 am>>many women objectify powerful and rich men<
237. Dave left...Sat, 01/07/06 10:32 am>>DJ Comment >>many women objectify powerful and rich men<
238. Ali left...Sat, 01/07/06 11:32 am :: http://relationships.blog-city.comIf I was rich I wouldn't want a woman who was just with me for my bank account or how much of my $$$ I was willing to spend on her to make her life easier. I'm sure you can relate to this concept, DJ, because you wouldn't want a guy who was with you just because he thought you had a great rack, right? Even when objectification seems to work in your favor (when it gets you close to the person), it doesn't always work out favorably. You end up wasting valuable time and energy with someone who is with you for all the wrong reasons. They usually end up leaving for pretty messed up reasons too.
239. DJ left...Sat, 01/07/06 11:39 amThen how do you explain guys like Donald Trump or Hugh Heffner? It is possible those women actually care for them, but it seems unlikely. It seems like they use their wealth in their favor.
240. Ali left...Sat, 01/07/06 2:08 pm :: http://relationships.blog-city.comWell didn't Trump get divorced like twice already? It may work in their favor as far as simply getting women but it doesn't seem to work so well with finding a good compatible match that will work out long term. Of course plenty of women want to be with those guys due to their status and wealth, but how many of them really give a shit about the guy himself?When you say wealth works in their favor the way I see it is, they are not hampered by lack of finances like many of us might be. No woman can call those guys poor or fault them for not being able to give them the lifestyle they want. Unfortunately though 99% of the women who flock to them are probably superficial and thinking about the $$$. So some serious screening is necessary if these guys want a woman who actually has something real and substantial to offer.If you had big boobs and you flaunted them in order to attract a man, you would have no problem finding a guy...thing is, is that the kind of guy you want, the guy who fell for a nice rack? What does he think about your personality, values, i.e. the kind of person you are? If he doesn't care it may be because he fixates on the physical (the way the women fixate on Trump or Heffner's money and power) His interest in you may be mostly sexual because of the way you got his attention, and if that wasn't the kind of relationship you wanted, you would know not to attract a guy by flaunting your body.
241. DJ left...Sat, 01/07/06 2:15 pm>>it doesn't seem to work so well with finding a good compatible match that will work out long term. <
242. Ali left...Sat, 01/07/06 5:25 pm :: http://relationships.blog-city.comWell maybe what he wants is trophy women. And it's a transaction...he gets his sexpot trophies and the women get taken care of. There's a name for that...what's it called again? Um.....oh yeah...prostitution!
243. Chasen left...Sat, 01/07/06 5:51 pmOnly thing though, he takes them in to live with him. Won't really call it prostitution. More like....housing hoes.
244. Tommy left...Sat, 01/07/06 6:48 pmChasen - Maybe it should be called Housing and Urban Development for tramps.
245. Ali left...Sat, 01/07/06 7:42 pm :: http://relationships.blog-city.comLive-in hoes. Remember, you have to tell them you're a cop, or it's entrapment! :P
246. DJ left...Sat, 01/07/06 8:01 pmSo obviously these men don't have a problem with it, because they can afford it.
247. Christina left...Sat, 01/07/06 8:14 pmI think you should let these people do as they wish if it works for them - we don't have to put labels on it, by calling them names ... if they're happy leave them be ... we all don't want to live the same lifestyle as everybody else ... freedom of choice ...Rich men are usually workaholics and that is usually the basis of their divorce rates..
248. Christina left...Sat, 01/07/06 8:17 pmI'm sure any of you guys would want to be Hugh Heffner for a day ... don't deny it ...
249. Ali left...Sat, 01/07/06 8:27 pm :: http://relationships.blog-city.com"So obviously these men don't have a problem with it, because they can afford it."No, obviously, these men don't have a problem with it, because they don't see anything wrong with paying long term "companions" for their company and "services". You make it sound as if just because a man has money, he will automatically do this kind of thing (flipping the script, why would good looking women tend to sell their sexuality to the highest bidder in a number of different ways? They must not mind selling themselves simply because they have the looks, huh?).Some guys are just prone to make these kinds of arrangements whether they have a lot of money or not. Whether they buy the services of a prostitute for one night for $50 or the services of a live-in escort for $50,000+. Whores and whoremongerers go together like peanut butter and jelly.But there are also men with wealth as well as women with conventional beauty that don't go for this type of arrangement, because they don't believe in conducting themselves as if they are making a transaction.
250. Ali left...Sat, 01/07/06 8:33 pm :: http://relationships.blog-city.com"Rich men are usually workaholics and that is usually the basis of their divorce rates.."Well that doesn't make them sound too happy at all, Christina. Besides, haven't women learned by now that men (multimillionaires, for example) who are driven in their careers to be that successful are by definition GOING TO HAVE TO BE WORKAHOLICS TO MAINTAIN THAT LEVEL OF SUCCESS, and if the women can't handle that kind of thing, why the hell do they marry these types of guys in the first place?Oh wait I know.Maybe they are counting on the alamony. You know, leaving with 50% of a multimillionare's salary, they don't make out too shabby, do they?
251. Christina left...Sat, 01/07/06 8:34 pm>>paying long term "companions" for their company and "services".<
252. Christina left...Sat, 01/07/06 8:39 pmOh stop, it's just the same as finding out down the track when in a relationship that the guy is a pig or something else ... they don't know until they're in head deep ... these women may actually love this man and hope's they spend time together ... and when it doen't happen the relationship breaks down ...I come from a wealthy family, both mother and father workaholics, and yes I was a lonely child also ... people place too much importance on money than they do with relationships they have that is for life!
253. Christina left...Sat, 01/07/06 8:42 pmYou can have as much materialistic shit around you - and I know it doesn't bring you happiness without love!
254. Christina left...Sat, 01/07/06 8:49 pmIt's the simple things in life that brings you a smile, the simple good times are the favourable moments that you remember for life ...If you could ask yourself:Can you remember a time when somebody gave you a gift ?Can you remember when you had a great time with somebody doing simple things ?Which one will you remember being most important and got the most joy from ?
255. Christina left...Sat, 01/07/06 8:55 pmI am a corporate personal assistant and support CEO's of major companies ... these men are very wealthy, though they work over 90 hours per week ... they have no life and their kids are suffering ... they don't see dad ... I tell these men to go home and spend time with their families ... some of these men are miserable ... and I see it quite often ... I think it's a disorder ... and these men die young also ... executive stress ... and it is a problem ....
256. Christina left...Sat, 01/07/06 9:00 pmYou just have to watch the news when a wealthy man dies and the family are fueding over the will, in and out of court and all over the front of the newspapers ... they even kill each other for it ... Its SAD!If people want this shallow lifestyle that is their choice ... we all make choices .... some make the wrong ones ....
257. Mamasan left...Sat, 01/07/06 9:51 pmShallow people marry/date circumstances, not people. It's easier to see in cultures where this kind of practice is more obvious, but the same thing happens in the west as well.I would be happy to live and let live in this, but there's just one problem: shallow people care so little about their targets that they don't think twice about exploiting a deep person.So everyone has to be careful, no matter how much money they make or don't.Cops and firemen and other service professionals work long hours and are not millionaires. What they do have though is a steady salary, which for some gold diggers is almost as good.A proper wife for a "workaholic" is someone self motivated, independent, and who can function both as a kind of single mother and as a sort of one woman "pit crew" for her spouse. It is helpful if she has positive male role models in her family who can pick up the slack for dad's lack of physical presence, so the kids don't miss out.Husbands of wives who have intense careers should be about the same...and by the way, as annoying as mother-in-laws can be, I know more than one female soldier who is very thankful for hers.People who really love each other find a way to make it work. So with even more material resources, there is really no excuse for the spouse of a wealthy person. They just didn't have the will to keep it functional. They were thinking in terms of their own convenience, and not about the long term sacrifice involved with marrying a career intense person.Some degree of objectification for status and wealth is to be expected on both sides since everyone has practical/feasability concerns. However, the person themselves should always be more important than whatever circumstances they provide.Maybe in the particular women Hugh Heffner selected, he found something that he didn't find in the women he had more conventional relationships with. There isn't as much security for them as there would be for a wife, so perhaps it is his way of making sure that they're there because they want to be...to keep them on their toes. For all we know, he could be in love-love with one, and the other two might be tokens. Who knows?
258. DJ left...Sat, 01/07/06 11:14 pm>> You make it sound as if just because a man has money, he will automatically do this kind of thing<
259. Tommy left...Sat, 01/07/06 11:33 pmChristina - You're absolutely right. In fact, all you have to do is look at the situation revolving around Anna Nicole Smith and her husband's family. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe the guy's name was J. Howard Marshall, and the amount of money involved was at least $40 million. The old man's son was fighting like a mad dog to make sure that Smith didn't get a red cent for over 10 years.My advice to anyone getting married would be to put 10 times (or at least 5 times) as much money into your personal account as you would put into your joint account. Besides, you never know when everything might fall apart and need that crucial safety net that you set up for yourself.
260. Ali left...Sun, 01/08/06 12:08 am :: http://relationships.blog-city.com"Shallow people marry/date circumstances, not people"..."the person themselves should always be more important than whatever circumstances they provide."^Exactly! Shallow people damn sure won't be there for you when the chips are down or the money runs low or when you are struggling with adversity. You probably went to bat for them when they needed you...but when you need THEIR support...POOF! Gone with the wind...Their concern for you will be only as much as one would care for the goose that was gonna lay the golden egg...once that egg hatches, and you have served your purpose for them, don't be suprised if you are left hanging! :(
261. Tommy left...Sun, 01/08/06 1:21 amAli - In other words, it increases the likelihood of one being hung out to dry.
262. Ali left...Sun, 01/08/06 1:37 am :: http://relationships.blog-city.comYep, Tommy...and when you have money and material things, shallow people just LOVE your circumstances so they'll flock to you! They're usually just in it to get what they want from you and then they're out when they get tired of you. More money, more problems. You wanna meet somebody real who will like you for you rather than what you got or what you can do for them...be modest, and downplay what you do have, lol.
263. Christina left...Sun, 01/08/06 1:42 am>>Shallow people marry/date circumstances, not people.<
264. Christina left...Sun, 01/08/06 2:00 amWhen death becomes apparent - life becomes more evident - I have seen many a rich person give their wealth away and change their attitudes when they are knocking at heavens gate ... The Anna Nicole Smiths are just blood sucking self centered vampires with AN AGENDA ! She has to drug herself out to deal with the deception she has created within herself ! SAD
265. Ali left...Sun, 01/08/06 3:22 am :: http://relationships.blog-city.comYou'd be suprised at how many people are like that though. They're not plastered on TV and media...they may live nearby. They don't want to have to work for what they want...so they want to take some of what you got, and constantly scheeme ways to get it from you.
266. Chasen left...Sun, 01/08/06 4:02 amYup. They are the golddiggers of the world. People who want it all and won't work to get it, so they try to find someone to use to get it for them. I hate that. I was taught that if I wanted something, I had to work to get it. Nothing was ever given to me and I happy I wasn't. To me it's sad that people want something for nothing.Christina, I have seen that too but, I also seen some people be so greed they will write in their will that they don't want anyone to get any money. Not even their family members.
267. Christina left...Sun, 01/08/06 7:36 amMoney and Power is not as glamorous as we thought then did we?Money and Power is very UGLY !
268. Christina left...Sun, 01/08/06 8:01 amGREED - it's one of our 7 Deadly Sins ! So therefore the people who want to play this game always looses ...Guy's stop worrying about what you 'have got', and 'have not' got!If your money is going to buy you love with a superficial tramp, that has cost you years working ... don't bother and don't worry about those sort ... again they don't last long ...And those sort are not always necessarily barbie doll looking ... so get off that track also!Find somebody who would like to achieve and grow with you .. on an equal basis of partnership ... basically to look out for each other till time remains ... You will find this if you stop looking at the above reasons and it will find you one day when you know it is you are looking for ... You'll spot it one day ...In the end it's all about COMPANIONSHIP!
269. Tommy left...Sun, 01/08/06 12:13 pmAli - This reminds me of the story that I told you once.The story was about a man who became rich as a result of the gold rush in South Africa's Transvaal region and whose relatives were basically mooching off of him. They often told him: "You can't take it with you." The old man knew that his relatives were only around him because he was rich.Since he was going to die eventually, he began preparing for his funeral and making out his will. He died and his relatives had attended the reading of his will. They discovered that the old man had left a good amount of money to his business associates and people who helped plan his funeral. There was still plenty of money left over. You know what he did with it? He had the money placed in a secret panel underneath him inside the casket, which was then incinerated with him and his remaining riches in it.In the will, the old man left his relatives with one comment: "I did take it with me."
270. Ali left...Sun, 01/08/06 1:31 pm :: http://relationships.blog-city.comChristina,I'm only speaking for myself here, but I:1) Never tried to attain money or material gains for the purpose of getting women to become attracted to me2) Don't make a habbit of pursuing barbie dolls because I know what their M.O. is already.However, even if you don't flaunt what you have, you still get people noticing what you've got, and if they are so inclined they will slither their way into your life under the PRETENSE of "they would like to achieve and grow with you .. on an equal basis of partnership" - Of course they must make you think this is what they are about it's the only way their scam will work on you!Golddigers don't have to pretend they're not goldiggers when they go after men who don't mind what they are (where the ass-for-cash arrangement is understood and agreed upon, as with video groupies and rappers in the music industry, for example).They DO have to pretend when they go after guys who are looking for decent, honest independent minded women who aren't scrambling for a meal ticket or looking for a sugardaddy to take care of them and pay their bills, etc.In other words they often try to downplay their gold rush lust and blend in with the "normal" women. As a result, they may attend college and even law, medical or grad school, but their primary purpose is not to be successful at what they do, their main goal is to use this as a venue to get next to a hotshot laywer, doctor or professor, and that's the undercover method of golddigging.That's the problem, that's how we get fooled.That's why men need to test women too.If she gets turned on when she sees diamonds or anything that signifies money, that's probably the first clue though.If her #1 goal seems to be acquiring things rather than personal development, that's another clue. (this may even take the form of busting her ass to climb the coproprate ladder...but all so she can get next to the CEO and get that big house or that BMW...pay attention to the bottom line)Anybody else think that our capitolistic society encourages this type of thing?
271. Ali left...Sun, 01/08/06 1:31 pm :: http://relationships.blog-city.comLol yeah Tommy I remember that story. He sure showed them.
272. DJ left...Sun, 01/08/06 3:00 pm>> Don't make a habbit of pursuing barbie dolls because I know what their M.O. is already.<
273. Tommy left...Sun, 01/08/06 4:22 pm"Just because a man is rich doesn't necessarily mean he wants a trophy, and just because a woman looks like a "barbie" doesn't necessarily mean she wants to be a trophy."That's true. Besides, many rich men and many barbie-looking women are on red alert for golddigging females and men looking for trophy girlfriends, respectively.
274. Ali left...Sun, 01/08/06 4:52 pm :: http://relationships.blog-city.comDJ I'm talking about "barbie dolls" in the context that Christina mentioned them. The ones who don't just look the part they act it. "Look at me, I'm so pretty, I deserve the better things in life so don't you want to spend your money on me, cater to me and make my life easier?" , etc.So in other words, women with not just "barbie doll" looks but also "barbie doll" behavior and expectations. Any woman that I've ever met who went thru any lengths to outwardly "barbie" themselves up always turned out to have that kind of underlying superficial mentality too, no matter how much they tried to bullshit and pretend as if they didn't. Feminine pretense, I guess.Someone doesn't just dress and carry themselves like a barbie doll for no good reason. There IS a distinct M.O. to it, whether you want to acknowlege it or not. Just like guys who have $$$ and go flashing it. It's one thing to have it, but why FLASH it? To get your attention, because they want something from you, of course. Money is their currency, while physical beauty/sexuality is the "barbie doll" currency. And we all know money talks, BS walks and sex sells, so there you go, it's not that hard to figure out. It's the oldest trick in the book.
275. Tommy left...Sun, 01/08/06 5:13 pmAli - In other words, it's not in a rich person's long-term vested interest to show off the wealth since it would only attract golddiggers and gigolos. The golddiggers and gigolos will essentially mooch off of the rich person, steal from the rich person, or financially rape the rich person in court.Also, you were saying that women who have barbie-style looks and a barbie doll mentality need to be viewed with suspicion at all times.
276. Ali left...Sun, 01/08/06 5:23 pm :: http://relationships.blog-city.comYes. Players will either try to buy you or bait you into giving them what they want. Beware of seduction.
277. DJ left...Sun, 01/08/06 8:29 pmOr maybe these types of people are just very confident?
278. Ali left...Sun, 01/08/06 9:37 pm :: http://relationships.blog-city.comSure. They're not a player, they're just very confident....I am sure those were more than one person's famous last words....Think about it...players by necessity, HAVE to be very confident in their ability to get in your pants or in your wallet by any means necessary. Or else they get no $$$ or no sex or whatever they were after. This should not be confused with healthy self-confidence, although it often is.
279. Dave left...Mon, 01/09/06 8:46 amThis should not be confused with healthy self-confidence, although it often is.<
280. Tony McRush left...Fri, 01/13/06 11:04 amWomen who fancy bullies are evil as simple as that. It is not to do with barbie doll women. I saw a women on the front page of the daily post who has married bank robber in the USA. I dont normally like saying this but she was fat and ugly. There are ugly and attratice women who fancy bullies and vice versa. I don't think it is right to say that only barbie doll women fancy bullies cos some scum decide to fancy bullies as they think it makes them seem like a barbie doll and they want to be like a barbie doll, even if they are fat and ugly like the woman I have described on the front page of the newspaper. Being ugly and fat is not bad but supporting bullies is.
281. Dave left...Fri, 01/13/06 2:43 pm>Women who fancy bullies are evil as simple as that.<
282. Jill left...Fri, 03/02/07 4:41 pmNot a single one of you - male or female - know a blessed thing about real life and/or real relationships. You're here having these ridiculous cat fights and all you can do is attack each other and act like damned children. Did you ever stop to think that the reason you're all so goddamned lonely is because you're narrow minded judgemental fools who only see the need to pigeonhole both the sexes as well as relationships in general rather that look at what you could find were you to shut off your computer and start fixing your own life instead of picking apart those of others?Women abuse men.Men abuse women.It goes both ways.From reading these comments - I pity the partners of each and every one of you incorrigible swollen heads and I pray you all get your heads out of your asses before its too late and all that you have is each other.I am married, happily. Fourteen years, four kids - no broken bones, no bullying, no bull. Get a life - all of you.I used to enjoy reading the sophomoric banter on this blog but today you've made me ill. Duke it out amongst yourselves - I have grown-up things to do.
283. D J left...Fri, 03/02/07 6:35 pmJill has a point. I know comments like hers are usually directed at me, but they can apply to most of the people who post here.And she's right, real life is much more interesting, complex (and sometimes simple) than the views expressed here.Sorry for my part in making you ill Jill.
284. Momy Dearest left...Fri, 03/02/07 9:11 pmNo...More...Wire Hangaaaaars! Everr!!!
285. guy left...Fri, 05/23/08 6:51 am :: http://www.discoveraid.comThere's a lot of generalisations here. IMO, what we as bloggers should be doing more is opening people's eyes to their ways and challenging them to change for the benefit for themselves and the rest of the world. Hell, maybe bloggers can actually change our culture to being a caring nurturing and honest culture. Why not? lets go for it!
286. terri left...Sat, 10/04/08 8:52 pmAt first, I was very interested in this blog. I liked the male perspective I had read on some topics. But reading more, it seems as though many of the men sink into immature name calling and sarcasm if they feel a woman has stated an opinion that is 'against' them. It's very strange. The women posting can hold it together without resorting to that. Anyway, the brief visit was nice, but all this hating depresses me.
287. Mamasan left...Sun, 10/05/08 7:50 amTerri, that shows that you're either DJ, or you haven't actually read many posts made by women here.
288. D J left...Sun, 10/05/08 12:03 pmSo I guess I am also Allison:Allison left...Thursday, 25 September 2008 9:01 amHmmm.... this is a pretty blanket statement. Personally I've had both - that is to say, long, loving relationships as well as times when I've had a FWB for fun - they really aren't the same thing at all. You're confusing sex with love - most people group them together, but they aren't the same thing. At some points in life a loving relationship is wonderful to have, other times it might be more fun to be single and independent. You can have sex with or without love involved, and the two experiences are very different. I'd have to say sex with love is amazing for totally different reasons than mindblowing FWB sex... but I don't think women are "sluts" for knowing what they want and going about getting it in a safe and responsible manner.This will be my second and last post on this board, because of the rampant use of generalizations (American girls are skanks, women who have sex are sluts) and the overall women bashing which isn't very healthy or conducive to actually solving anyone's problems.And Tinzley who once posted that she felt her viewpoint wasn't being considered by the men of this blog. I must be every woman who posts here who doesn't accept the hatred aimed at women, right? Why don't you check the posting IPs, they are all the same, right? Not.
289. Mamasan left...Sun, 10/05/08 1:04 pmDJ, unless you've been lying, you're a woman, and most of your posts here have been hateful. It's rare to see you post something that isn't.The few examples you posted are a small fraction of posts made by women (which include your own). So actually most of the posts here made by women are very hateful towards men who don't believe that a man has to agree with everything they say in order to be considered "nice" or good.Y'all should be grateful to be posting on a blog where the owner will allow you to post your disagreement, and respect that enough to engage the men here with some positive examples, instead of reinforcing the very stereotypes you're complaining about.
290. D J left...Sun, 10/05/08 1:08 pmWow, you couldn't wait for me to post so you could start your back and forth. Were you having catfight withdrawals? Well you better get used to it, bickering with you is not top priority in my life anymore. I'll have to bookmark this page and get back to it when I can.
291. D J left...Sun, 10/05/08 1:16 pmI haven't posted here in about a week in a half, but as soon as I do, you respond an hour later. You probably posted my ID so I'd respond so you could have another back and forth. Are you THAT bored. If I can't respond for 3 1/2 weeks will you be waiting and respond 45 minutes after I do?
292. Mamasan left...Sun, 10/05/08 1:26 pmWhatever, DJ. I'm trying to show the men here that not all women are stupid or exploitive. It would be nice if you could do the same.
293. D J left...Sun, 10/05/08 1:31 pmWhatever Mamasan. Most likely if you hadn't posted my ID I wouldn't have responded on this thread, and I am pretty sure you know that. You didn't hint around addressing me, you straight out did it. You are showing the men here you like to needlessly create drama and argue to no point. You are showing them that even though you "agree" with their negative viewpoints of women, you are still a woman.
294. Mamasan left...Sun, 10/05/08 1:43 pmYou're talking nonsense.
295. D J left...Sun, 10/05/08 1:50 pmYou missed arguing with me, and you mentioned me by name in hopes of drawing me out so we could do.....exactly what we are doing now. If you had actually read any of terri's other posts you would have seen different writing styles and different points of view. Also, you could have simply checked the IPs and seen that they are different. Sorry, me and terri are two different people, but we've come to the same conclusion. As have several other women who briefly posted here, and moved on.You missed arguing with me, simple as that.
296. Mamasan left...Sun, 10/05/08 2:55 pmSorry, but you're going to have to take this trip to the twilight zone all by yourself.
297. D J left...Sun, 10/05/08 3:00 pmLook at how quickly you jump on the opportunity to go back and forth with me. Even accusing people who have similar viewpoints of being me. Xena and D also share the same view of women as you do, and they both have stated they are women, yet I don't feel the need to accuse them of being you, or each other. Or anyone else for that matter.
298. Xena left...Fri, 03/27/09 10:16 am
hey little dj!!!! I see you enjoy fighting everyone! Now I know you are nothing but a sad little thing.
299. DJ left...Fri, 03/27/09 3:18 pm"hey little dj!!!! I see you enjoy fighting everyone! Now I know you are nothing but a sad little thing. "And you took the time to look up my post from months ago and make a comment. Yesterday you responded to one of my posts only nine minutes after I did. Obviously you like fighting as well, so going by your own words, Xena you are a sad little thing.
300. Image Consultant left...Sun, 04/24/11 12:05 am :: http://ManhattanMakeovers.comI just want to add that when I was in law school I had the opportunity to hear Andrea Dworkin speak and never have I heard a more powerful public speaker. In person she was very gentle and kind. Her ideas, however, were always radical and strident, albeit with some grain of truth at their core. As Wilhelm Reich said, Everyone is right about some thing, and wrong about some thing.
Voltaire 
Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter because nobody listens.
- Nick Diamos
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